Monday, May 31, 2010

Doing Something Good

In my culture, and many others around the world, making New Year's Resolutions has always been a common practice and, three months later, a common let-down when you break them. Maybe you started eating fried food again or stopped going to weekly worship of your chosen religion, or maybe you're just back to thinking rude comments of the people around you, but either way, I'm sure anyone who's ever made New Year's Resolutions has broken more than a few. Though I always make a pretense of half-assing myself some behavioral changes come January first, it's been years since I've actually been committed to one.

However, this year, I find myself in need of change. Due to various things, I've realized that my life has been drastically improving over the last, oh, seven or eight months or so, and what with finishing another semester of college, being in a happy relationship, and finding myself presented with new opportunities, it seems like I should be celebrating. But I'm not. Or, at least, I haven't been; the seduction of stress has gotten me again, and between health, work, family, and finals, I've allowed myself to become one huge tied-up knot of frustration &negativity when such a state has really been unnecessary. This toxicity, I'm realizing, is what has been holding me back this whole semester and is what has kept me from taking full advantage of the amazing opportunities I've been presented with.

No more! As I've just started me twenty-first year and have officially become an adult by American standards, I've decided that it's time for some New Year Resolutions as a way to start forming my life into a more fulfilling one that I really enjoy living. One of those resolutions is to spread positivity not only to myself but to the World At Large, and I'm happy to say I've done just that. From helping my friends with HTML or Japanese homework to baking cookies and making my family dinner, I've been trying my hardest to put some more effort into giving back to the people I love. That can't be all, though; now I'm trying to give some positivity to people I don't know, have never met, and don't owe anything to. One such example is Joey.

I came into contact with Joey from his being featured on F*** Yeah Lolita's series Lolitas Who Break the Mold. In it, he mentioned that the Metamorphose Swan Lake JSK in pink was his dream dress, and I felt that familiar pricking in my heart that said there was something I could do to help - kind of like a bat signal. I cast a sidelong glance at my closet and, not wanting to believe what I had to do, saw the exact dress he was pining for languishing next to my bathrobe. I tried to think back to the last time I'd worn it and was at a total loss. After a moment's hesitation, I typed up a comment that said I owned that dress and would be willing to sell it, if he were interested in buying. I received an e-mail address and an enthusiastic "Yes, please!" from Joey, and after a few weeks of discussion and saving up on his part, there was finally an exchange of promise on my end and money on his. He's such a sweetheart - he put up with a few more weeks of me floundering around through papers, debates with drycleaners, and frantic searching for lost detachable bows (normally I would never sell anything during finals, but the opportunity had arose and I felt like putting it off would be worse than the effort it took to get it done), all absolutely without complaint.

I received word that he received the dress yesterday, and his thanks were so heartfelt and moving that it reminded me the magic of a good deed. What with the state of our lolita internet community and the fact that we have ENTIRE WEBSITES devoted to bitching about people (which have their place and is another post entirely), I think it's really important that we remember the people sitting on the other sides of these computers and the hearts beating under these layers of frills and to give back to them in any way we can, whether that's helping a newbie on the egl community or providing someone with their dream dress. Everyone gets bogged down by the negativity of daily life, and it's important to find a way to let that negativity fly away into space and fill the void it leaves in us with happiness and love (okay, okay, sorry about the hippie bullshit).


  1. This is such a sweet story! I couldn't imagine doing that even if I was sure that it was the right thing to do.

  2. As a poor lolita this really touched me!!!! I think that is an uterly sweet thing that I wish people thought more about. Right as I write this im hosting a clothing swap so people who cant offord what they want can still have an opertunity! I love this post <3

  3. This is such a sweet post! I'm so glad that he got his dream dress, and it's just so sweet that you sold it to him.

  4. That probably got you a few truckloads of good karma! I think the fact that your trying to help people is awsome. I try and do that to, I have kind of made it my mission of the past year or two.

  5. I remember Joey well from that post, so it's very heartwarming to hear that he got his dream dress! You did a wonderful thing.^-^
    Also, I confess I was rather excited to notice your mention that Japanese homework is part of you life--I'm always glad when lolis are, like myself, studying Japanese! Tis one of my other great passions besides lolita, you see. I wish you luck in your studies!

  6. Oh dear, I should have proofread that better. My apologies!

  7. That is really sweet and kind of you to do that for some one else.

  8. que sweet escrito

    se cuida



  9. i'm no hippy, but i love that 'hippy bullshit' phrase you just wrote :)

    Good luck!

  10. Aww, that's so sweet of you!

  11. @DuskRose_Dreaming: I studied Japanese heavily for four years of high school, but unfortunately the program I attended advanced my knowledge almost entirely past what my university offers, so I'm no longer taking it. I was referring to helping my roommate-no-longer Christina with her Japanese homework. It is definitely still a great passion of mine, one that I'm hoping I'll have the means to continue sometime in the future!



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