No, don't worry, I'm not getting married! Well, actually, I might be engaged but it's kind of up in the air and rather complicated right now. However, the lovely photo above as well as my duty as bridesmaid to my good friend Tina prompted me to consider the nature of weddings and the place of lolita within them.

The wonderful thing about weddings is that they're as customizable as you want them to be: pet lovers will have their dogs walk down the aisle in the bridal party, grooms' cakes which satirize the new husband's obsessions are getting more and more popular, and who hasn't seen photos of retro-inspired weddings? However, for some reason, lolita weddings seem to be a bit of a taboo in the community. Maybe this is because lolita is seen as more obscure of a fashion, not one that a couple is likely to have in common in their lives (unlike, say, punk or rockabilly) and therefore it's more likely that only on partner of the pair may actually have much of an interest in it. Or it could be because lolita is seen as childish; "things like that have no place in the most important day of your life," I can just hear a mother-in-law-to-be say. And personally, I kind of agree. I don't see myself ever having a lolita wedding, but I feel like lolita is so deeply ingrained into my aesthetic that it'll manifest itself in the proceedings somehow or other.

If you're interested in adding some lolita touches to your own celebration, here are a few tips:

♥Themes that would lend themselves well to lolification are fairy tale (think lots of carriages and tiaras and glass slippers), floral themes like cherry blossoms or roses, or Victorian-inspired with high-collared necklines or bustled dresses.

♥Floral arrangements: Consult the language of flowers, a Victorian means of communication that ascribes different meanings to different plants. Check here for Wikipedia's article on floriography. Some flowers with particularly lolita-friendly meanings are asters, lilacs, geraniums, and moonflowers.

♥Favors: Especially if you have lolitas in attendance or in your bridal party! Some lovely ideas for lolita-inspired favors include monogrammed fans (maybe with a little pamphlet on the language of fans), a small box of personalized truffles, or even a small deck of playing cards.

♥Reception: Instead of a fancy, expensive dinner party, have a tea party around brunch time. That way, not only is it often cheaper to rent venues earlier in the day, but you can also connect to your inner Mad Hatter!

♥Bridesmaid gifts: Anything with pearls, trailing ribbons, or rhinestones!

Lolitas: Are you planning on getting married? If so, will you include lolita in your festivities, or is it an "appropriate time and place" type of deal?

(Oh, also, heads up- starting Monday, I'm going to be in New Zealand for two weeks! I'm planning on having some articles scheduled to go up while I'm gone, but that may or may not happen.

An affirmation is a declaration of something that's true; an affirmation prayer is a religious or metaphysical technique that focuses on a positive outcome instead of a negative one (thanks, Wikipedia!). While "prayer" is a term I shy away from, because I dislike anything that has religious connotations, I think of an affirmation as being a collection of positive thoughts that sees you through hard times, and I think it's important for everyone to have one.

Here's the affirmation I've taken to saying to myself before bed at night, or some variation thereof:

I am a creation of love and beauty. Everything I do spreads positivity and happiness to the people around me. I share the light in my soul with everyone who is dear to me, and I strive to be someone who makes their lives better simply for knowing me. I am cool and calm and collected, and completely comfortable with myself no matter how I look, dress, or feel. The negativity I encounter is nothing compared to the joy I hold within me, and even the darkest of my own depressions can be beaten by it.When I am in doubt of my own awesomeness, I remember that I am a goddess of love and beauty in my own way. I am powerful and capable, and obstacles fall before me; everything I strive for I can accomplish, and if not, it's because accomplishing it will not further my growth as a human being. Everything I have encountered comes together within me to shape me into the person I am today, no matter how awful it seemed at the time. With the love, peace, and joy within me, I am unstoppable. I am fearless. I cannot be beaten.

I think it's really important for everyone to have an affirmation that will lift their spirits when challenges seem insurmountable. If you don't have one yet, I really suggest writing one for yourself! It can be as simple or complex as you like; this one is rather long, but another mantra of mine that I find myself falling back to time and again is as easy as "Breathe. You can do this." The important part of your affirmation is that it reminds you of everything you're striving for and how amazing your life will be once you accomplish these goals. It'll get your through difficult times and remind you that whatever you're living through at that moment, no matter how dire it seems, will someday be one more challenge you've learned and grown from.

Do you have a motto?

Share your own affirmations in the comments section!

If you don't already have one, what would yours be?