tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post2393680648149037536..comments2023-05-12T06:54:39.485-04:00Comments on Her Lumpiness: Lolita Fashion and Lifestyle: Fighting for the SisterhoodMiss Lumpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15787979324951814676noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-62337081364702116952010-11-28T19:48:40.226-05:002010-11-28T19:48:40.226-05:00I agree with Abbey. I was actually offended slight...I agree with Abbey. I was actually offended slightly from parts of this post. Having been bullied from the time I was very small and having a hereditary mental illness (depression and so on) I hate coddling. I have been suicidal but what drove me to the edge was never that someone I knew (or didn't know) said my skirt was the wrong shape or I was too skinny to pull off whatever. It happens. About a year ago I was even posted on lolitafucks, and I politely said that perhaps they weren't the right socks to wear with the outfit but I didn't appreciate some of the other things they were saying. And then I left the community.<br /><br />When girls have so little self esteem that they are driven to consider suicide because of a bunch of people who don't even matter and other people come in to say that everyone else needs to accommodate that person because somehow being super sensitive makes them special. <br /><br />I'm not saying, "It's the internet, get over it!" What I'm saying is, spend a little more time working on your inside instead of your outside and learn to love yourself regardless of what anyone else says. Just because a person gets posted on gtfoegl (can't speak on behalf of cgl) doesn't mean that they are hated by that comm, it doesn't even mean that anyone will remember it in a month. I don't want to be a monkey wrench in the love machine, but mental illness is more serious than simple low self esteem.the Lady Ashukohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03051405256621374233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-52473559143685145132010-10-25T06:55:18.445-04:002010-10-25T06:55:18.445-04:00Thank you for posting this! Every word was wonderf...Thank you for posting this! Every word was wonderfully written and were carefully placed! :) This article inspired many of my friends who are all Lolitas. :)<br /><br />Here in our country, we only have a very small percentage of Lolitas. And even though the population is really small, there were still those who doesn't stop playing like gods. We celebrated our forum's first anniversary recently and I just found out that it was posted on 4chan with a lot of criticisms/side comments. They kept telling everyone that they are promoting the Lolitas in our country and that they are truly proud of it but all I can see and hear are harsh comments about our forum members/us. I can't see why they always look down on us. :( It's unbelievable and saddening. <br /><br />On the next International Loli Day, we will surely talk about this. I just want you to know, many of us read your blogs because all are helpful and informative. Thanks again from PH! ♥<br /><br />http://www.ruffledteadiary.com/Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01012953374106049406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-88494719708864595162010-10-24T15:51:40.492-04:002010-10-24T15:51:40.492-04:00I totally agree with what you're saying, but I...I totally agree with what you're saying, but I don't believe that statistic at all...<br /><br />People who will have had bad experiences would be much more likely to participate in a questionnaire on such a subject, and many were probably exaggerating as mental illnesses are very VERY serious.<br /><br />But yes, I don't see why so many lolitas feel the need to be so horrid to each other...it should be a chance to bond over something unusual that we all love.Abbeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16137453488257158536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-7853512329165127502010-10-24T02:40:33.840-04:002010-10-24T02:40:33.840-04:00original photo is of angeliclailah (Rin Rin) and J...original photo is of angeliclailah (Rin Rin) and Jayukirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11904287692025573213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-57228643603826591242010-10-19T13:45:06.308-04:002010-10-19T13:45:06.308-04:00This is the best article I've read here, and t...This is the best article I've read here, and that's saying a lot since I like 98% of this place, including the sidelinks. :D I wish we were friends. You're probably the lolita I feel most connected to style-wise and thoughts-wise. [and I'm also a Taurus.]<br /><br />This is candiesandlaces from tumblr, btw.C. M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17702821615146697163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-79340683606432079212010-09-28T13:34:24.384-04:002010-09-28T13:34:24.384-04:00This was a most true and beautiful article, I am s...This was a most true and beautiful article, I am sure one day this whole feeling of negativity will end and we will all come together as beautiful brothers and sisters of lolita love<br /><br />You always make me smile with you're beautiful words of turth <br /><br />Thank you again for making me feel less alone for wanting love, respect and kindness through my fellow lolitas<br /><br />x† Angel Vampire † https://www.blogger.com/profile/11466596314785084428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-91822897307801782782010-07-21T16:00:11.793-04:002010-07-21T16:00:11.793-04:00Wow, I totally spelled fantastic wrong!Wow, I totally spelled fantastic wrong!moussehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01698196343116196315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-83240177348392521552010-07-21T15:52:45.918-04:002010-07-21T15:52:45.918-04:00Jeez,this was a fantestic article. I am so happy t...Jeez,this was a fantestic article. I am so happy to find that others feel the same way that I do and are willing to speak out. I will pledge myself to this movement and hope that others will continue making an effort to expand the sisterhood!moussehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01698196343116196315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-84567193949569038872010-07-21T15:41:46.964-04:002010-07-21T15:41:46.964-04:00Sadly, the internet seems to bring out the worst i...Sadly, the internet seems to bring out the worst in people. This is mostly because of the ideas of anonymity-- people can say whatever they want and can hide behind the fact no one really knows who they are.<br />And then a lot of people seem to forget something fundamental about the internet. Every single post in a forum is made by a person. A living breathing human being. It may be text on a screen to one person, but the reality is that we are all human on here (unless you're a robot but I doubt there are any robots posting lolita pictures.)<br />I am sorry to the girls that have experienced trolling and harassment due to the fact they love lace and frills. There is no excuse to be mean. Recently, someone posted an anonymous hurtful message on a story of mine, and I replied on my profile saying the same thing I said above about how we are all people, and they really hurt my feelings.<br />You know what they did? They apologized. And I accepted their apology. Then we both moved on. It's hard to be mature about a situation when someone else is being immature, but essentially it's worth it.<br />I believe that if there can be sisterhood anywhere on the internet, it is within lolitas, where being polite and nice is truly a virtue.<br />I am starting my own lolita blog soon (after I finish moving into my new apartment) and I hope that it can become as successful and as full of positive energy as yours (and many of your colleague's) are. :)<br />Thank you for posting this. It has helped me look past the times I've been trolled for other things and just realize that the internet might have a few a-holes, but there are also quite a few wonderful people as well.<br />Have a nice day Miss Lumpy, Reed :)Dalbzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04626170688227264993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-58661778728440626992010-07-20T22:07:28.429-04:002010-07-20T22:07:28.429-04:00@Bluie: I definitely see where you're coming f...@Bluie: I definitely see where you're coming from, and I'm not offended. It could be said that I was thinking in a sexist manner when I wrote this article, but the term "sisterhood" was actually not coined by me; I first saw it used to refer to lolita in an article from Lolita Charm. To quote:<br /><br />"Lolitas are so different from the mainstream, and so small a percentage, with such a sensitive interest. There is a sisterhood there; there is something we all yearn for that we try to taste with ruffles and bows and ribbons."<br /><br />That said, I don't think that this idea of "sisterhood" necessarily excludes men- I know that sounds stupid, but hear me out. This fashion is devoted to the feminine side of life; therefore, regardless of sex, it seems to me that anyone who engages in a feminine fashion could identify himself as of the female gender whenever he dons those clothes while still being of the male sex (remember, 'sex' means biological identity and 'gender' means social identity). I also imagine that someone who is so comfortable with femininity that he will wear lolita would not be adverse to considering himself one of a sisterhood, whatever he identifies his gender as.<br /><br />In this article, I'm not also talking to those who wear masculine versions of lolita such as kodona or dandy simply because I haven't exposed myself to their side of our world enough to have the knowledge to comment on them- this goes for brolis as well. I don't want to label the men in our community as catty if they aren't, or hold them up as an example of sweetness if they don't suit that term either, simply due to my lack of knowledge about them.<br /><br />Thank you for your comment- It brought up an important aspect of our community that I left out of my discussion. I'll add these paragraphs as a post script to that article itself.Miss Lumpyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15787979324951814676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-59956146955811148472010-07-20T19:29:56.021-04:002010-07-20T19:29:56.021-04:00I feel bad for saying this since this was a very n...I feel bad for saying this since this was a very nice written article but I think you have forgotten our male lolis and the sisterhood seems a bit sexist, if you don't mind me saying. I hope you don't take offense from me saying that.<br /><br />When I first started wearing lolita, I admit I advoided the actually communites out of the fear that had been placed into by other people that I had encounted from an other interest of mine saying "That they are all bitches and hate newbies that don't own brando."<br />It made me so sad because part of me was scared that I would be hated straight away for what I wore and what I didn't. So when I got the nerve to join, I joined it all. I wanted to see it all, any time I posted I wanted to know if I got put down. Thou I'm still to nervous to post anything. I guess I just don't have the confidence for it yet other than a few random posts here and there on egl or the sales_comms.<br />It isn't for the fear of what I've seen mind you but more the fear that I won't be appeccted. Real life bulling was bad, I don't know if I could handle on-line stuff just yet.Bluiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16440566515868751669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-89656604787716483732010-07-20T00:09:29.565-04:002010-07-20T00:09:29.565-04:00This is absolutely the best post I've read on ...This is absolutely the best post I've read on Lolita in a long long time. <br />It's disgusting the way that some people act. I left the communities because of things like this and I've had friends who were absolutely crushed by people like this. <br />It's exactly right that new girls think "OMG I've finally found somewhere to fit in!" only to be crushed in their first attempt. For someone who is fragile to begin with that can be the final straw. I've personally been posted to the secrets communities several times since they allowed personal attacks, I only found out I was there because my blog was getting referral hits. Interestingly I've only been posted since I left Lolita for Hime Gyaru. I have a thick skin but I'm still a person and it's never nice to hear that someone thinks you look like a cockerspaniel or the like. Constructive criticism is something I support but there is a difference to being constructive and being a bully. I support the sisterhood and I do hope that at some time in the future everyone can all be mature enough to follow your example :)Violet LeBeauxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08196541595887444439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-38276779034451810552010-07-19T19:35:35.958-04:002010-07-19T19:35:35.958-04:00Thank you for this post. I've never had experi...Thank you for this post. I've never had experience with the negative communities personally, but hearing about their existence frankly sickens me. :/ I can promise I'll stand with you in this battle, in my own small way and in my own corner of the subculture/fashion. <br />I'm a dreamer and an idealist too, so I know what you mean about how hard it is to explain to people that "overoptimism" or whatever isn't necessarily a bad thing. ;)DuskRose_Dreaminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14629451480607829790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-42910898332183843592010-07-19T19:01:31.702-04:002010-07-19T19:01:31.702-04:00One of the best posts you 've written. The thi...One of the best posts you 've written. The things you say are so true. Though I never visit those negative sites to know exactly what is going on I understand, too well I 'm afraid what you are talking about. I 've been bullied for the best part of my school years and it's scarred me though I hope not for life. I cannot for the life of me understand how people can hurt each others feelings so easily. Especially those whom you don't know anything about. And it doesn't matter if it's on the internet, bullying is still bullying. I don't really know what to say any more abou these things. But I 'll always be a dreamer and I hope that the sisterhood WILL become reality in lolita community one day, and in all other communities that face problems like that.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11213895832127088168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-51562416713968855092010-07-19T17:17:08.014-04:002010-07-19T17:17:08.014-04:00This is an extremely important post because it car...This is an extremely important post because it carries real truth. It's important for people to learn and understand that what you say has consequences, even if it's on the internet and even if the consequence isn't for you, somewhere someone will be affected by what you said, wrote, etc.<br /><br />Online/Cyber-Bullying is a real problem, just as Offline/RL Bulling is, and it needs to be dealt with. Then again, people also need to gain some confidence. Confrontation is scarey, but it works. If someone said something to you or about you that you didn't like, confront them about it. If they just continue with their immaturity, then leave it be, knowing that you stood up and was the bigger person. Confidence is key.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-86425248346527056362010-07-19T17:09:44.589-04:002010-07-19T17:09:44.589-04:00I will join your fight for sisterhood. It does not...I will join your fight for sisterhood. It does not matter if it is the internet, bullying is never the rightfull thing to do. This article has touch me sincerely and I wish to do anything for sister hood.Mademoiselle Parapluiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13061167688325736293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-82614940000477352002010-07-19T16:29:14.843-04:002010-07-19T16:29:14.843-04:00Yet again, you hit the nail on the head.
I have su...Yet again, you hit the nail on the head.<br />I have such a problem with online bullying... well any bullying... but the problem with online bullying is, like you said, people justify it so much by using the lame excuse "Deal. That's the internet". Sorry that excuse doesn't fly with me. It's the internet, that doesn't excuse you from being a jerk. I never read wank communities. I don't have time for them. If someone has a problem with me, grow some balls and say it to my face otherwise I couldn't care less what is said. I wish people would just get some damn security and confidence and leave all those wank communities.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-85631419701228196662010-07-19T16:04:13.319-04:002010-07-19T16:04:13.319-04:00I agree for the most part that most people don'...I agree for the most part that most people don't behave well online and the things they will type without thinking twice are things they'd never say to your face. I wish EGL were more open to discussions about scammers (because they start on 4chan and and getoffegl but don't get addressed by mods until it's too late because it's just Wild Accusations at the beginning, e.g the current stuff going on.) And EGL itself wasn't a safe place to bring up the talia drama when she was a mod and was running the DB. People do need somewhere to go, but many lack the integrity to stay authentic to themselves. They'll puff up in front of the internet community <br /><br />I hate that loli_secrets has turned into 2.4chan due to allowing anonymous attacks. Addressing a mod about something you're concerned or embarrassed about anonymously is one thing, but using the veil of anonymity at loli_secrets is just vile and in poor taste. <br /><br />If people knew how to express themselves better it'd be a good thing. The fact that they feel they can't get their point across without vitriol is sad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-24966338063195975772010-07-19T15:37:11.965-04:002010-07-19T15:37:11.965-04:00I want to believe so much that we could all get al...I want to believe so much that we could all get along perfectly. I want to believe in that Sisterhood. But there are so many girls who just won't accept that. They don't want to get along with others. Like lilotka said, there are so many of those who try to build themselves up by pushing others down, like a big ladder to the top - who cares that you might break a rung on the way up, so long as you don't fall with it?<br /><br />I'll spare the rant since I have a bad tendency to get a bit carried away. The statistics are terrifying, though. I honestly cried when I saw them for the first time - is that what we're really like? The badness does tend to overshadow the goodness, but that there are still so many people who are happy to spend precious minutes of their lives making others miserable is... just unbearable.<br /><br />I wish there was something to do about it. I wish I could do something about it, but it's hard not to feel powerless in the face of that. What's there to do?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-15249649192491129022010-07-19T13:22:35.541-04:002010-07-19T13:22:35.541-04:00Aly, you're absolutely right. Thank you, thank...Aly, you're absolutely right. Thank you, thank you, thank you. There is most a definitely a way to be polite without "walking on eggshells".<br /><br />The members of these wank comms seem to me just like a group of very sick girls who just want to gain popularity among other lolitas by knocking down the weakest.<br /><br /> All their excuses,"This is the real world" "Lol you need to GTFO if you can't take a little criticism" "I can say whatever I want" - bullshit. Bullying is not okay, it never was, pinpointing a girl and hurting her is not "constructive criticism". They may have there petty reasons, such as hate for said person, desire of e-fame, or just a 'my way or no way' personality, but that is no justification.<br /><br /> They are annoyed when someone white-knights their object of ridicule, yet defend their right to continue putting down others. Though i doubt it ever will be, this behavior needs to be stopped.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-12007313190577055902010-07-19T12:12:44.459-04:002010-07-19T12:12:44.459-04:00I used to be a member of getoffegl and lolisecrets...I used to be a member of getoffegl and lolisecrets. It was a way to pass the time, but I never posted to either community. It was only recently that I left both communities, after realizing how useless they are and how much time they waste. I actually think the people with thin skins are the ones that post to those communities - the people that care so much about something so worthless that they spend their time being catty about it. I haven't had the urge to visit either community since I left them, and I feel I'm better off for it.theblackramhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17435639342525326734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4742272516878916648.post-27933424790665216782010-07-19T12:04:50.503-04:002010-07-19T12:04:50.503-04:00This is a very important article, and I can see yo...This is a very important article, and I can see your point. I aggree with the sisterhood thing. That would be the BOMB. But, it may be that I'm oblivious, nothing horrible like that has ever happened to me or anyone I know. I've never had someone call me fail. Nor has anyone said anything bad ever. To my knowledge. Am I just lucky, or something?Delanohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01382278773559299992noreply@blogger.com