For this week's lolita blog carnival, we're discussing how we began to wear lolita fashion, which I'm really excited about, because I'm always so curious! Most average people coast by every day completely unaware of how many alternative subcultures exist around them - how is it that so many people (particularly girls) in the Western world found out about this random Japanese street fashion?

The story of how I got into lolita fashion:

The first time I witnessed lolita, I was fifteen years old and on my second trip to Tokyo. I spent a week and a half living with a host family in... Meguro or Minato, one of the neighborhoods outside the main bustle of the metropolis, and attending an elite Japanese all-girls private school. For my first weekend there, my host family took me shopping in a few of the bigger fashion centers - Shinjuku, Shibuya, and... Harajuku, of course. This is when Gwen Stefani was at the height of her reign of terror, in 2005 or so, and despite her obsession with "Harajuku Girls" (or maybe because of it), I found myself totally unprepared for what I found there. Walking down Takeshita-Doori, the main drag for alternative fashion, was like tumbling down a rabbit hole; the girl working the counter at Seven-Eleven had green hair and five facial piercings (I counted), teenagers in visual-kei sat at tables in the McDonald's window, and outlandish clothing styles stared down at me from store windows stacked three or four or five on top of each other.

One of these buildings, two or three floors above me, featured a mannequin wearing set I don't know if I'll every forget: it was a blazer with sharp, pointed ends, a skirt that was basically tiers of ruffles, and a janutily-cocked mini hat, all in bubblegum pink. Next to it was something deconstructed visual-kei coordinate in black and purple plaid, but I barely noticed it: that pink monster was like nothing I'd ever seen before, and it was like a magnet.

"Haitte mo ii desu ka?" I asked, my eyes glazed.

My host, Asuka, rushed to agree, but her mother gave a shudder and shook her head.

"Demo... kawaii desu...!" I defended plaintively, in my second-grade-level Japanese.

Ms. Aihashi shuddered again. "Kawaii? Kowai deshou."

So we were whisked away down the street, and I was placated with my first taste of bubble tea in an outdoor foodcourt that has been long since converted to more shopping complexes. I was captivated by lolita, but every time I saw anyone wearing it for the remainder of the trip, all I could hear was my host mother's voice in the back of my head: "Cute? I think it's scary."

It wasn't until lolita got a foothold in the American convention scene that I found my way to actually wearing the stuff. After casually experimenting for a few years, I started amassing a wardrobe of altered blouses and handmade skirts the summer before my senior year, and the first day of school saw me in knee socks and mary janes. There were all of ten days my senior year that I didn't wear lolita or some derivative (I know; I counted). For the most part, my school was fairly accepting; sure, I got bullied a little for my clothing choices, but really - what high schooler didn't? More often, because the magnet program in my school was renowned for misfits, I was just considered one of the other weird "artsy" kids who could occasionally be poked fun at but was mostly accepted, tolerated, or ignored.

On one of the days sanctioned by the school for practical jokes, a friend and I switched clothes for the day, to the outrage of my classmates. One girl gasped when she saw me. "Child, what are you wearing??" she demanded. I looked down: an Abercrombie polo shirt and a denim mini skirt. So what?

Hanging out with my fellow art kids in my first brand dress; senior year of high school.

"No, no!" the girl insisted, appalled. "Man, what'd you put THAT on for? You always look like you be going to a ball or something. You gonna go back to the dresses tomorrow, right? Because I don't think I can HANDLE more than one day of this!" And then the entire class went on to discuss how elegant my clothes usually were, how different it was, and how.

And that was probably the best day of my high school career, and I can only thank lolita fashion for it - or at least the hackneyed "lolita-inspired" wardrobe I cobbled together over the course of my senior year.

So that's probably longer than what most people will have to say about it, but I have lots more I could share. And I probably will, eventually - this was an off-the-cuff pieces written in a few minutes and one sitting between projects at my job, but it's a topic I really enjoy sharing my experiences about. Until I get the chance to do that, though, take a look at these other lolibloggers as they share how THEY got into lolita fashion!

The Cute Lifestyle

Gothic Strawberry

Sidhe Banshee
Northern Star
Oh Velveteena!
All Sweet Indeed
Alice in Lolitaland
Wild Jackalopes
A Sweet Lolita's Disney Life

Winter and Fall Lolita Meetup Ideas

For us in the Northern hemisphere, fall has settled comfortably down around us like little hillocks of leaves, and it won't be long before snow drifts replace them (well, at least here in the Frozen North, that is). But unless your local community plans on going into hibernation, there's no reason to let the cold winds scare you out of your petticoats and bloomers! Here are some ideas for lolita meetups for the chillier parts of the year.

Cold Weather Lolita Meetup Ideas

• Ice skating! Always a classic for colder weather, and who doesn't love the look of those ravishing plastic rental skates?
• A crafternoon, preferably in front of a fire with cups of hot mulled cider, and afghans for laps if it gets chilly.
• Photoshoots- it may be too cold to spend a lot of time outdoors, but imagine a photoshoot with a bunch of lolitas walking through a red and orange park in the afternoon sun, or through crystalline snow drifts... Sigh! Utterly picturesque.
• Similarly, organize a lolita fashion Stitch 'n Bitch for all you knitters out there! Get started on a scarf or a new pair of mittens while catching up on all the best gossip from your local community.
• Shopping day, because obviously. Hit the mall or an indoor shopping arcade and load up on chintzy accessories.
• Cookie swap - this holiday classic entails everyone baking cookies beforehand, typically their favorite season recipes, and everyone sugar-binging while swapping recipes. It's an adorable bonding activity that could be great for a newly-founded community - plus, getting a ton of lolitas high on sugar has statistically never gone wrong, ever.
• A tea-sampling party. I know it's pretty unrealistic, but I love the idea of having a whole bunch of teapots being kept warm by Sterno candles (like the kind caterers use), and everyone gets espresso cups to sample the array of teas and tisanes, with little treats to nibble that coordinate in flavor with each of the teas. Alternatively, a tea swap would be lovely as well- everyone brings a box of their favorite tea to share. You could provide cute cellophane bags and attendees could make their own goodie bags of their favorites!
• Video game day - One thing I know about lots of lolitas is that they're often pretty big on console games, so load up your favorite multiplayer game and have an afternoon in with local ladies!
• An evening at the theater, be it opera, ballet, or even just the movies. Again, movie outings are another great activity for a budding community, especially if it's followed by dinner or coffee- talking about what you just saw means awkward silences will be far fewer and easier to dispel.
• A candlelit dinner party - maybe I'm just a weirdo on this, but the idea of getting together my most fashionable friends and serving them a beautiful, multi-course meal makes me absolutely giddy. Just me?
• Tour a museum or local historical building, especially if it's decked out in its winter finery. My local group is going to road trip to see The Breakers in Newport this year, but even most small towns at least have a historical society. These establishments often don't get a lot of traffic except for school groups, so you're also supporting your local community with this one!

I'm a huge baby when it gets cold out, so in the winter I'm always tempted to sit home drinking tea or cocoa all day. It's hard to get all dolled up only to have bitter winds biting at your knees! Hopefully if the same is true for you, these meet ideas will inspire you to layer up, pull on those mittens, and plan a lovely day with your local community.

{PS- the image above wasn't made by me! I found it on Pinterest and then edited it further myself.}

This weekend I went to a meetup with the Western Massachusetts community! We had tea and crepes and fondue, and despite a few bumps in the road, much fun was had by all. I took my outfit inspiration from Snow White from the show Once Upon a Time, particularly her bandit outfit. Mostly, though, that just means I styled my hair a little like hers and wore a (faux) fur with her color palette. I may someday make an actual costume of it, because I really love that outfit!

Outfit rundown:

♥ Skirt and bow: Autumn Flowers by Lady Sloth

♥ Blouse: Forever 21

♥ Fur: H&M

♥ Harness: Redfield Design

♥ Brown belt (mostly hidden): thrifted

♥ Shoes: Payless

♥ Tights: great question! Offbrand somewhere.

Detail shot:

☆ What did you all do this weekend? ☆

This week's Lolita Blog Carnival is very seasonally-appropriate: your perfect lolita-themed Halloween party! I came up with two different options, and of course created coordinates for each.

The Masquerade Ball:

You push through the decrepit manor house's oaken doors, and from the top step of the stairway you find there the music is already floating toward you like perfume. The long hall at its foot is lit by torches, and ends in a heavy, dusty velvet curtain. Pushing it aside, you gasp aloud- you couldn't have imagined that such a forlorn place would conceal such beauty, such grandeur. It's like opening a treasure chest: the entire room is gilded in gold leaf, and masked couples whirl over the bright marble floors, firelight glinting off their ornately bejeweled costumes. The air is thick with some sort of incense, like something that belongs in a gothic church, and you can feel the centuries of hands which have passed over the smooth marble railing as you descend into the ballroom below. Someone presses a goblet into your hands, and you drink deeply of a rich, thick, dark red wine before a gloved hand comes to rest at your waist and whisks you off to the dance floor.

You didn't even think you knew how to do the minuet.

The Haunted Tea:

The door to the crypt looks like it's never been opened, like it never could be opened, but the instructions on your invitation are precise. You raise a hand to push against the thick slab of limestone, and gasp as it moves like a curtain under your touch. The cold wind that rises from the catacombs is somehow inviting, which may have something to do with the rich aromas it carries. As you descend the thick stone steps, the door slips back into place and the darkness in the corridor is complete; you carefully follow your nose toward the scents of food and warmth. Eventually you find yourself in a huge catacomb; you've no idea how far down these stairs have taken you, because the ceiling now rises so high that you can barely even see it. That may have something to do with the room's lighting, which consists only of torches around the perimeter and a massive candelabra in the center, sitting upon a huge, empty table. There's only one chair, and the sound of your footsteps on the stone floor echo and seem deafening until you reach it.

As soon as you're seated, you can hardly believe your eyes: the atmosphere of the room has changed almost completely. It's now lit brightly and warmly, as if a fire is crackling nearby, but the table is what has changed the most. Not only is it now set opulently with the finest china you've ever seen, it's ringed by a huge party of laughing, jubilant guests. You don't know that you've ever seen so jolly a group, and the fact that you can see right through them to the walls behind seems unimportant. A parade of skeletons appear from a doorway you hadn't noticed before, each carrying a tiered tray that makes your stomach rumble. Some contain pastries with bowls of cream and preserves, while others bear dainty tea sandwiches or heaped piles of fruit riper than any you've ever seen. The final skeleton seems like it doesn't belong with the rest: it carries only a simple wooden bowl, and you are shocked when it places the bowl directly in front of you.

The pomegranate seeds stain the tips of your fingers a deep, blood red, and it isn't until you've devoured the whole bowl that you stop to think about the consequences of eating the food of the dead.

Crash some more parties below!

The Cute Lifestyle

F Yeah Lolita

Northern Star

Suns in our Hands
Lace a la Mode
Elegant Poupee
Dollhouse Diaries

Lolita may be a fashion, but it necessitates a certain skillset too. Being doll-like requires you to learn a lot of new skills- maybe you had to learn a new beauty skill, like teasing your hair or applying circle lenses, or maybe donning over-the-top wigs and pastels taught you self-confidence and how to stand up for your style. I think that's one of the best things about lolita- it forces you out of your comfort zone and teaches you about yourself and the outside world.

Here are the top 5 skills I learned from wearing lolita fashion!

♥ "I know the word in Japanese, I just don't know how to say it!" Reading so many brand websites has given me a really unique understanding of the Japanese language. I've learned to recognize a good number of characters by sight alone, with no idea how they're actually pronounced (the one that comes to mind is 綿, which is the symbol for cotton, and which Google translate has just reminded me is pronounced "wata." Let's see how long I remember it this time!)

♠ "Hand wash only? Piece of cake! Where's my Oxi-Clean?" I used to live in fear of hand-washing my garments, but these days? Bring it on! Relatedly, if not for lolita I don't think I'd ever know what bluing is.

♣ "I better get all of my international orders in before the dollar tanks even MORE!" Before lolita, I knew nothing about conversion rates, let alone the strength of the dollar in comparison to other countries' currencies. In my heyday of buying lolita both from Japanese sites and second-hand off the communities, I could instantly convert complicated prices to within a few dollars' worth of accuracy - euro, pounds, yen. I also knew which countries and currencies to avoid because the US dollar was currently weak against them. I've never been much of an economist, but for the first time in my life, lolita made it necessary for me to pay attention to these things.

♦"Uh oh, creeper alert! Time to duck into this Starbucks until he's walked by." The way I assess danger is much different these days. I'm used to be heckled on the street and know when to hold my own, but I've also developed a pretty good instinct on who and what to just avoid altogether. Maybe this comes with age, and I just happened to get into lolita at a time when people naturally begin assessing danger differently, but I certainly feel like my experience walking around cities in lolita at night has helped boatloads now that I live in a city whose active nightlife I participate in.

★ "Man, this blouse is totally loliable! I just need to take it in, replace the buttons, change the sleeve shape entirely, and completely remake the collar!" Now, I've always sewn, and I'd like to think I'm fairly adept at it, putting aside my typical clumsiness and hastiness, but when I got into lolita my entire experience behind a sewing machine changed. Previously I'd so slight alterations - a hem here, a patch there - but when I started building my wardrobe, I embraced clothing reconstruction wholeheartedly. For a while there, it was like no sewing project was too big- it was worth adding a new color or item to my closet, no matter how much work it needed. Weirdly, I stayed away from making anything terribly complex on my own, but clothing surgery? That was my jam.

♥ What ridiculous skills have YOU learned from your experience in lolita? Tell me in the comments below! ♥

Inspiration: The Subconscious Side Effects of Being a Lolita