A few weeks ago, I was killing some time downtown while waiting for my boyfriend to get off work, and somehow I ended up, after a good bit of coaxing, in the makeover chair of a Benefit boutique. While we began by discussing concealers, after hearing that I had a couple minutes to waste, my sales associate ended up going to town and showing me a huge host of her best-sellers du jour. One of these was the brand new They're Real! Mascara, which I was told is currently the best-selling mascara in the world - and let me tell you, I can see why!

The marketing for this product is something I'm still on the fence with- it plays off of aspects of femininity which are often "faked" by women, alluding specifically to plastic surgery such as boob jobs, to go with the false-lash effect the mascara imparts. On the one hand, it's sexy without being demeaning, and in my opinion, kind of empowering - it says that whether you're "real" or "fake" (eg, whether yours is natural or artificially-enhanced beauty) is your own damn business, not the casual observer's, so why not keep them wondering? On the other hand, it does hold up this obsession with secretly-artificial beauty which, masquerading as natural, therefore means that people have to work harder to be considered attractive to society, which distances themselves from their own natural beauty.

However, as someone who really doesn't mind looking "fake" sometimes, I'm not terribly bothered by this. Which is convenient, really, because this mascara is honestly mind-blowing! As a lolita who's always had problems with false lashes (*shakes fist at latex allergy*), I'm a huge fan of over-the-top mascara. My associate put the mascara first on only one eye and held up the mirror - and I must admit, I was so shocked I burst out laughing! It honestly looked like I had just put on a pair of large and noticeable but still natural-style false lashes, and I immediately demanded the product be sold to me - after, of course, it was applied to my left eye as well as my right.

The mascara itself thickens, lengthens, AND curls- my eye shape is slightly asymmetrical, so I usually have to curl my left lashes even when I'm not curling my right so they look the same, but I was impressed to see that I didn't need to do that with this! My naturally long, thickish lashes were enhanced to falsie-proportions as well. This is combined with a pretty interesting wand, which has little spikes sticking off the ends- hard to see in this picture (indeed, hard to photograph at all, especially when you forget to clean it off first...). These are designed for getting in really close to the shorter, thinner lashes on the inner corners of the eyes and also the lower lashes, if you swing like that. It leads to greater accuracy when detail is needed and, therefore, a better end result with fewer mistakes.

Left: just with mascara. Top right: totally bare. Bottom right: with full make-up

It's a bit hard to see in these pictures, as, well, I'm still getting used to my new phone's camera (fancy phones with fancy phoneography! Welcome to the 21st, Lumps!), but even still, you can see how much thicker my lash line looks, as well as how much wider it makes my eyes. Combined with full make-up, my eyes are more prominent, rounder, and more doe-like.

As much as I love this product and don't regret the impulse buy, it's probably not something I would have bought if I'd thought about it a little more. I'm more inclined to buy mascara that can be layered so that I can put a less noticeable coat on for work or casual wear, and then add a bit more for nightwear or lolita, and at $23 a pop, this mascara isn't exactly as multi-faceted as I would have hoped. However, it works amazingly at what it's intended for. Also, it's worth it to point out that you're gonna wanna go with the industrial-strength makeup remover for this bad boy - if I don't, or if I only give it a quick, lazy wipe, I'm left with black gunk under my eyes for about three regular soap-and-water washes. While this reflects well on how long-lasting this mascara is (definitely not going to need to reapply over the course of the day!), it's also kind of frustrating, as it deters me from wearing this product on lazy days when I may not want a whole face-load of makeup. Again, works great, but makes it a much less versatile product than I'd prefer for the price point.
Verdict: Four out of Five. This can do amazing things, and I definitely recommend it, but its lack of versatility means it didn't deserve a perfect score, in my book.

Can you believe it's already been eleven years since the egl community on livejournal was born?! I absolutely can't! It's nice to know that, despite having been pointedly inactive in the past few years, I've still been one of a memeber for almost two-thirds of its life. It's with much excitement that I announce on their behalf to all of my lovely followers, for those who've forsaken the community in favor of fashion hermitage (such as myself- totally would've missed it if Caro hadn't messaged me about it this weekend!), that they're holding a call for creations in honor of their faithful followers! They're also going to be doing contests and giveaways over November and December, so personally I'm adding them back to my blogroll, and you should too! As for the potential prizes, everything will be products from community-based indie companies - it's possible that my own brand, Amaranth Opulent, may have a few pieces in the mix as well.

Heads up, cuties- this is an awesome way for loli-bloggers or creative entrepreneurs to get your name out there, and also to give back to the community! Even though I've had a rocky relationship with egl in the past, I can't deny that I certainly owe them a lot from my own days as a newbie, just discovering the fashion, lost down a dark, winding road of scratchy lace and square dance petticoats with no hope of finding the light, except for the loving, caring community of egl. (#hyperbole!)

So far, I'm planning to submit two pieces: one for the "lolita and feminism" prompt and another that Caro suggested, "lolita and sexuality," which will probably either be for the former,"Thoughts on EGL & the internet Lolita community," or "Thoughts on the Lolita Lifestyle." Either way, I am super excited to see what everyone thinks! Here's a snippet from the second of the two, the first draft of which is already finished:

"A pretty big proportion of a lolita's time discussing the fashion with those not in-the-know is spent saying things like, 'Lolita is not a sexual fashion. No, seriously, it isn't.' I'm pretty sure that most psychologists would say that, the more one says something aloud, the more it's internalized in one's own mind, too, meaning it's not a far jump from 'Lolita is not a sexual fashion' to 'Lolitas are not sexual people.' From this, it isn't hard to begin vilifying any lolita who associates with deviant sexuality, and from there, any openly sexual lolita at all."

 Information on how to enter can be found here, in the main post on the egl community.

By the way, the main article makes it sound like they only want writing samples, but in her post on our local community, Caro says anything like art, comics, creative writing, etc will be accepted, so bear that in mind when deciding if you want to take part! Want to contribute, but not sure how? Here are some ideas, ranging from quick and simple to more elaborate and impressive:

• Write a short essay about your first time wearing lolita on public transportation
• Paint a picture depicting the way it felt to put on your first lolita coordinate
• Write a series of haiku about the importance of bloomers. Or on anything, because haiku are awesome and always appropriate.
• Bring a sketch pad to your next lolita meetup do quick sketches of your fellow guests - ask permission first, of course!
• Take your first picture of yourself in lolita, mimic it in pose, location, lighting, etc with your current style, and juxtapose them next to each other in the same image with photoshop or similar
• Write a short story or poem about a lolita at a museum whom everyone thinks is part of an exhibit
• Turn the fable "The Tortoise and the Hare" into an allegory for coming into your own as a lolita
• Compose a rap about the first time you wore lolita, and set it to Japanese shamisen music

One of my favorite things about lolitas is the immense amount of creativity they're capable of- everything from coordination skills to crafting to my fellow loli-bloggers, all of it seriously blows me away. I find I'm constantly stunned at what this community is capable of when we funnel our energies into positivity instead of negativity, so I am beyond excited to see what we can come up with.

Henna has been around for ages- literally. Ever since the Bronze Age, the Lawsonia inermis plant has been used for dyeing everything from hair and skin to leather and silk. It grows in tropical and sub-tropical arid regions like Southern Asia, Australia, and much of Africa, and people there have been using the plant for beauty for over 6,000 years. In many places, its use is tied to rituals and celebrations such as marriage, but people all over the growing region have used it for its anti-microbial properties as well as its powers of beautification on their nails, their hair, and their skin. It even followed trade routes to Europe and the Americas, and was a popular tool of the upper echelon as early as the 18th century. Even Lucille Ball was said to have used it to change her blonde locks into the flaming coif we know so well today! However, when chemical hair dyes became safe (well, safer than they had been) and cheap (well, cheaper than they had been), the practice of using henna faded out in favor of more easily-accessible means.

However, it's never been completely gone from the beauty scene, and in the past few decades, the earthy-crunchy crowd (into which I proudly include myself!) has led a resurgence in this little powdered plant's popularity as a rejuvenating natural hair dye that can really restore luster to lacking locks. But it doesn't only dye: henna also makes hair soft, shiny, and supple, curing dandruff and making heat and chemical damage less noticeable. The glorious, natural-ish red sheen is only one of the many perks.

Since I've been red for about two years now, with an interlude of bright blonde, my hair has definitely seen some damage. A few friends have been urging me to try henna for quite some time, but I have to admit, the length of time necessary for the dye has always turned me off to it - hey, I'm a busy lady! I don't get many days off, so I had to decide whether or not I wanted to sacrifice a whole day to getting goo in my hair. After a while and some more research, though, I decided that it was a jump worth taking, and I'm certainly glad that I did.

The first step was buying a teeny test-size amount of the henna I wanted to try. My henna came from Henna for Hair, a great resource for buying as well as step-by-step instructions and lots of other information. I chose Ancient Sunrise's Rajasthani Jasmine, which the website says is good for damaged, fragile hair, and originally only bought a few of the 3-gram tester packs. I did a gloss over my hair to make sure I liked the color/process and also to test for allergic reactions (super important! I wasn't too worried about it, but if you are, only do a small test patch). No pictures of that process, because it was pretty unremarkable- I had to dilute the henna a lot with conditioner to cover my whole head, so while I loved the parts that had a higher concentration of dye, the majority of my hair had nicer quality but little color difference. If you're curious, I mixed the henna with lemon juice as the package suggests and let it sit overnight; before applying it, as I said, I mixed it with an increasing amount of conditioner, starting at the front so my bangs would have the highest concentration (though you're supposed to start in the back). I covered it in plastic wrap and a towel for heat and let it sit for six hours.

A few weeks after the gloss- it felt much nicer, but looked mostly the same as it had before.

Last week, I decided to go balls-to-the-walls and dye my whole head. 100 grams usually works well for collar-length straight hair, but mine is quite wavy, so I bought two packs and probably used a little more than 150 grams total. My original gloss had only been mixed with lemon juice and then diluted with conditioner, so I went a little crazy with this one, using all the citrus in the house (two lemons, a lime, and an orange) as well as a strong brew of black tea, chamomile flowers, rose hips, and lemon rinds. I mixed in a little bit of conditioner right before I applied it, as well. I let the original mixture sit for about six and a half hours, though leaving it overnight would've been better, then applied to my hair and let sit for about three hours - if I weren't on a time crunch, I definitely would've left it on for far longer. I wrapped it in plastic wrap, and blasted it with heat from my hairdryer every so often- probably five minutes under the dryer every forty or so minutes it sat.

How sexy do I look?! Ladiiiiies....

Rinsing it was a bit of a shit show- I took off the plastic wrap and stuck me head under the shower, which I immediately regretted, because I suddenly found myself with handfuls of wet, vegetal-smelling brown goop.  I hopped out, and removed a bulk of the goop with paper towels before washing out the rest. I don't use shampoo, so I just rinsed until the water ran clean and poured on some conditioner afterwards. Then, of course, I had to clean the shower, which kind of reminded me of that scene in Spirited Away wherein Chihiro cleans the dirtiest tub in the bathhouse. You know the one...

Anyway, here's my hair immediately after rinsing:

Remember, never dye your hair in nice clothes! This tank had a huge gloob of henna from the first application.

The color is always far brighter immediately after dyeing - if you don't like that orangey hue, don't worry, it'll fade. And if you do like it, as I did... tough cookies, kid, 'cause it's gonna fade whether you like it or not.

Twenty-four hours later, in my normal-person disguise:

Three days later, the final product!

As you can see, the henna evens itself out to a very natural-looking shade of red. My job loves it. I, personally, am kind of torn. While I really like the shade, and it's definitely office-appropriate (which I really need it to be), it's just... dammit, I wanna be one of the cool kids with the crazy hair, too, ma! I miss my fire-engine red...

However, I am very happy with it, and will almost certainly be experimenting with more henna in the future.

♥ For more information ♥

Henna for Hair

Free e-book: Henna for Hair How-to

Henna on Wikipedia

More natural dye options

To children all over the world, there are few archetypes which end up shaping their world views more than that of the Disney princess. Think back for yourselves- whether you were the target market (read: little girl) or not, almost all of us can recall the first of these characters for whom we first fell, and often it's a lifelong love affair. One of my friends collects Ariel memorabilia ad nauseum even today. For one reason or another, there are few types of heroines which end up imprinting themselves so much on the minds of our youths. Maybe that's why there's also so much resistance and controversy over what values the megalithic corporation extols to children through its movies.

We can't deny that the older Disney princesses were anything but role models to the young women of today. Snow White's constant refrain of "Someday my prince will come" was nothing if not personified in the princesses who followed immediately after, Aurora and Cinderella. All three of these ladies exemplify the old-fashioned stereotype of women as the helpless, hapless victims of circumstance, of a fate enacted upon them by an evil older woman of great power and even greater corruption (sometimes the only other woman we meet in the movie), who need men to sweep in and rescue them from their trials and whisk them away to Happily-Ever-After-Land.

The reason why these movies have come under scorn, in the past few decades especially, should be fairly obvious. Wave after wave of feminism has been paving the way for women to move beyond those conventional stereotypes, to embrace their power over their own destinies, and, most importantly, to teach them that their power to do both of those things is not based on the affections or attentions of a man.

Thankfully, though, the next wave of movies rolled in with sweeping changes in characters and themes, all of which were much more fitting to the mindsets of the eighties and nineties. Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine were independent, confident young women who stood precariously with one foot on the solid ground imposed by their patriarchal societies and one foot dangling dreamily into their own hopes for the future. Ariel wants desperately to join the utopia she perceives life on land to be, a flame which is fanned by her attraction to the human Prince Eric. Belle would happily reject society altogether in favor of fairy tales until she sacrifices her quiet life for a stay in the Beast's castle, where if nothing else she can escape the pressures put upon her by her pastoral French village. Jasmine is the impetuous princess of Agrabah who refuses to become some entitled sultan's trophy wife and demands instead that she marry for love. I think it's pretty obvious why these princesses are by far the most dearly-loved by my generation: they have the same values of curiosity, loyalty, and honesty that so many of us have grown up with, even if their stories do hinge greatly on "getting the guy." However, they've also got huge character flaws- Ariel leaves behind her home, her family, and everyone she loves for a guy, and Belle is nothing if not a textbook example of Stockholm Syndrome. Even Jasmine, it could be said, sacrifices her deeply-rooted desire for honesty by taking back the guy who lied to her over and over again about his very identity. I mean, sure, he saved her life, so that helps, but still, it's not a move I'd respect very much in a real person.

These characters also mark a huge shift in the heroines with which we are provided as young people. While these characters certainly still have their problems, and the romantic lessons one gleans from these stories aren't the best (ie: they can lie to you, verbally abuse you, and take you away from your family forever, as long as it's in the name of love), but as far as their predecessors go, they're an absolute grand jeté in the right direction. They tell young people that it's okay for you to want something more than you're given by circumstance, and to strive for the type of future you truly feel you deserve, no matter what the people around you expect. Thinking of my friends who identified most with these princesses in our youth, they're all strong, independent people making their way in the world, no matter what their friends or families think of them for it. I'm not saying that these Disney movies caused this mindset, but they certainly could have contributed to it.

 

A third, more recently-concluded wave of princesses featuring Pocahontas, Mulan, and Tiana follow in the footsteps of those who came directly before them. They have the same struggles of personal independence against the rigid societies they've been born into and the same romantic, masculine-driven undertones to their stories (ie, they owe a huge change in their fortunes to the men they encounter; without those men, their stories would have been totally different or completely unremarkable). However, there is one key difference to these princesses: they aren't white. Pocahontas is a Native American in what would soon become Virginia, Mulan is a Chinese warrior in the imperial army, and Tiana is an African-American waitress in New Orleans circa the jazz age. Before this, Jasmine was the only non-white Princess in the Disney line-up. And aside from Pocahontas, who, by being the daughter of a chief, is the cultural equivalent of a princess, none of these women have typical royal blood, but all of them have the same strong family ties that their immediate predecessors also possessed.

Each of their movies also deals with unique forms of discrimination as well: Pocahontas chronicles a clashing of two cultures, one of whom defends the rights of their ancestral land, the other of whom pushes for expansion and exploration in the name of their monarch. Mulan shows the struggles of a young woman being oppressed by gender roles and traditions which threaten her family's very wellbeing. And Tiana, of course, is fighting for her dream of owning a grand restaurant on the New Orleans waterfront while dealing with just how little is expected of her as a southern Black woman. They also have strong wills, backed mostly by deeply-rooted ambitions or a sense of justice and honor, and are more than willing to step on some powerful toes to fight for what they know they deserve. This is incredibly poignant when one considers the target market of these princesses: young people of color. While these three women definitely don't accurately represent the demographic of their viewers, having four non-white princesses is certainly a lot better than having none. First Jasmine, and then Tiana, Mulan, and Pocahontas don't solve some the problem of under-representation, but they absolutely do pave the way for even more princesses and heroines of color in popular children's movies.

Warning: Brave discussed ahead! I'm trying to keep spoilers out of it, but proceed only with caution if you haven't seen it!

As Disney Princess movies progress through time, they also become more socially progressive, and the last handful of heroines certainly break the molds set by the originals. However, even the contrast between the two most recent princesses, Merida and Rapunzel, shows an interesting shift in mindsets. Both are princesses by birth, though Rapunzel doesn't know it, both have rather remarkable hair, and both are white. However, Rapunzel's world is literally confined to her tower and visits from her mother (not counting, of course, her charming chameleon sidekick, Pascal), and the only "society" she bucks against is the upbringing her guardian imparts to her, in which fear and uncertainty are instilled in a headstrong and ambitious young woman with only varying degrees of success. Merida is actively rebelling against what one may assume is centuries of tradition, not to mention the expectations of her own parents, by refusing one of the most important rites in a young princess's life. Now, the biggest uniting factor between these two princesses is their fierce desires to take control of their own destinies: Rapunzel's one dream is to see the lights which float in the sky every year on the evening of her birth, and Merida's desire to discover who she is as a person and where that person can fit into the traditions of her home speeds her on a journey through magic and mythology. It's unfortunate that Rapunzel would probably never have had the confidence or means to actually achieve her goal if the charming renegade Flynn Rider had never stumbled upon her tower and whisked her away; however, the voyage is very much about the two of them working together so that she can achieve her life's goal. It's refreshing to see a story about a driven young woman being supported by her romantic interest so whole-heartedly, no matter what other forces come into play throughout the story. And, honestly, as far as Merida goes, I have so many things to say about this wonderful Princess that she really needs her own article - it's in the works, though, so keep an eye out for it!

These two young women are the type of heroines I would be delighted to show my own future children because they have a very definite moral: whoever you are is an excellent person to be, no matter who tries to hold you down or change you, and having goals to work towards make that person an even more spectacular one, as long as you don't let your dreams control your life and keep you from smelling the roses. This moral is much, much healthier than anything gleaned from the movies which came before it (excepting maybe the third wave's sweeping themes of diversity and acceptance), and is one that I would be happy to impart to any youth of any age or era. 

In the end, after all, it's important to remember that that's what all movies and media are, especially those meant for children: a way to communicate ideas to an impressionable audience, and some of those ideas - the importance of family; the necessity of being true to oneself; the audacity of believing in yourself, even if you're the only one who does - would benefit any of us to be reminded of. However, it's important to take those wonderful themes with a grain of salt and be conscious of what else is being communicated in these movies - especially when all of these life lessons are being imparted to children who don't have enough experience of their own to act as a foil against those harmful ideas that they're seeing. It's especially easy for lolitas to appreciate the sweet romances, the awe and respect of magic, and the childlike simplicity of these movies; however, when we consider the impact they can have on society and those more impressionable than ourselves, it can be easy for us to understand the intense scorn with which many adults regard them. There's nothing wrong with enjoying Disney Princess flicks- as long as we remember that, no matter what we may get out of them, sometimes there's more to it than what we're perceiving, and those other messages really shouldn't be looked past because of our appreciation of the fairytale fantasies portrayed therein.

All art in this post from ~agusmp on devianart, posted with permission!

“The more I learn about this country, the more I think I should live somewhere else.”

—	Hunter S. Thompson

The impulse to travel is a deeply ingrained one. Whether we get it from the old hunter-gatherer instinct to follow the migrations of our food sources, or if it's more similar to modern-day escapism, the need to explore has become as quintessential to humanity as empathy is. And well it should be- there's nothing that broadens the horizons more than putting yourself somewhere you've never been, surrounded by a language you don't speak and smells and sounds you've never encountered before. It's marvelous, exhilarating, and terrifying, and if I ruled the world, I would put it at the top of everyone's to-do list.

It seems, lately, like I've been seeing a lot of similar statements. However, a lot of the time, they're different in one key aspect: many of them say something along the lines of "Travel is my biggest priority and you're wasting your life if it isn't yours too." Here's the thing: as much as I'd like to tell everyone that their money is only worthwhile if they're doing something to expand their horizons, I don't know them. I don't know their lives, their jobs, their family situations, or anything else about them- who am I to say what they should or shouldn't be spending their money on? I've been incredibly privileged my entire life: my parents retired younger than most, have always put a huge emphasis on the importance of exploration, and, though money was never plentiful, were able to save up to take us away on nice vacations that I took for granted for far too long. I'm also very thankful that, as an adult, I've never been out of work, have always had enough money to feed myself and pay my bills, and was able to save up money and take time off for work with relative ease. I don't have kids to leave at home, a job that would fire me if I tried to take time off, or trouble making ends meet as it is. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, if you can travel, you're lucky. Privilege 'n stuff.

However, I do think that exposing oneself to new cultures is something that's important enough that everyone should make a point to do, whether that means flying thirty hours away (Hello, Australia!) or one of these much simpler and cost-effective ideas:

• Find yourself a nice day trip or two! Visit a neighboring state/province and go to a museum or sit in a cafe. This is one of my favorite things to do- I've always loved picking an exit at random when I'm driving off the highway and just discovering what there is to do there, but you could do this by train, bus, taxi, or whatever else it available to you.
• Find a really, really excellent restaurant of an obscure cuisine you've never eaten. I went to a tasty Afghan restaurant in the city a year or two ago, but other cuisines to check out could be Ethiopian, Nepalese, Swedish, or Basque. Just remember that it's likely that you're getting a watered-down version of whatever you're eating, especially here in America- it may or may not actually be legit!
• Go to the library check out a book of fairy tales from a country you've never heard of. While you're there, try picking up a travel guide and maybe a history book or two. Turn yourself into an expert!
• Google and find the arts and crafts of a specific region you're interested in. Usually you can find some easy, inexpensive ideas meant for kids that can be fun and enlightening for creative types of any age.
• Research upcoming holidays. It's often thought of as disrespectful or inconsiderate to try and celebrate a holiday that isn't your own culture's, so be respectful, but learning about a country's important days and the mythology behind them is a great way to learn more about a society's values.

Readers: do you often find yourself suffering from wanderlust? How do you cope? And while you're at it, tell me the one place you want to go first and foremost, above all others!

PS- Sorry I've been so dead lately! Getting into the swing of the semester is always hard, but I have a handful of articles already started that I'd like to get to in the next few weeks, and then an important announcement! See you soon~

Yep, I'm back stateside (for some reason. No one has been able to convince me yet why.)! After about thirty hours of transit each way, I'm safely back in the USA and am about to sift through two weeks of missed life. I know I said I'd probably be able to update while I was there, but... I lied. I'm sorry! Please don't hold it against me!
New Zealand was amazing. It was beyond amazing. This picture was one of hundreds I took just of the mind-numbingly beautiful scenery hidden behind every other curve in the road- crystalline beaches sparkling under summer sunshine; cliffsides made spiky by a covering of flax and manuka trees; swamps overpopulated with mangrove trees under the grey skies of a summer storm; pastoral hills that look eerily similar to those of my own state, except elongated into craggy peaks that reminded me what sheep's hooves evolved to grip, so unlike their American cousins existences.
Not to mention the people. The individuals I encountered on this trip were some of the kindest and most sincere of any I've ever met, and I've done my unfair share of traveling and meeting people from all over the place. Everyone from the baristas in the cafes to my flight attendants to the amazing individuals who introduced us to their indigenous Maori culture just went above and beyond all of my expectations of how people treat each other. But I guess when you live in perennial summer, there's no real reason to treat strangers as hostilely as we do here in the Frozen North.
Speaking of summer, I came back to my computer to realize that my amazingly talented friend Kayla had found time to edit some of the pictures she and I took at a pastoral-themed photoshoot in... July, I think? So, while I fight jetlag and get back into my normal blogging schedule, her's a little bit of an appetizer for you!

The idea behind the photoshoot was to echo the heavily natural aesthetic of the pastoral convention of literature (think Christopher Marlowe's "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love" and anything about shepherds and shepherdesses and their comparatively innocent lives in the countryside of England and Europe). Hence the natural makeup, mishmash of layers, and hippie-dippie hairstyle. I'm planning on writing more about the pastoral convention and how you can incorporate its aspects into lolita, mori girl, and a slew of other fashions, so keep an eye out!

For more, check out Kayla's post on the photoshoot, or her Flickr!

No, don't worry, I'm not getting married! Well, actually, I might be engaged but it's kind of up in the air and rather complicated right now. However, the lovely photo above as well as my duty as bridesmaid to my good friend Tina prompted me to consider the nature of weddings and the place of lolita within them.

The wonderful thing about weddings is that they're as customizable as you want them to be: pet lovers will have their dogs walk down the aisle in the bridal party, grooms' cakes which satirize the new husband's obsessions are getting more and more popular, and who hasn't seen photos of retro-inspired weddings? However, for some reason, lolita weddings seem to be a bit of a taboo in the community. Maybe this is because lolita is seen as more obscure of a fashion, not one that a couple is likely to have in common in their lives (unlike, say, punk or rockabilly) and therefore it's more likely that only on partner of the pair may actually have much of an interest in it. Or it could be because lolita is seen as childish; "things like that have no place in the most important day of your life," I can just hear a mother-in-law-to-be say. And personally, I kind of agree. I don't see myself ever having a lolita wedding, but I feel like lolita is so deeply ingrained into my aesthetic that it'll manifest itself in the proceedings somehow or other.

If you're interested in adding some lolita touches to your own celebration, here are a few tips:

♥Themes that would lend themselves well to lolification are fairy tale (think lots of carriages and tiaras and glass slippers), floral themes like cherry blossoms or roses, or Victorian-inspired with high-collared necklines or bustled dresses.

♥Floral arrangements: Consult the language of flowers, a Victorian means of communication that ascribes different meanings to different plants. Check here for Wikipedia's article on floriography. Some flowers with particularly lolita-friendly meanings are asters, lilacs, geraniums, and moonflowers.

♥Favors: Especially if you have lolitas in attendance or in your bridal party! Some lovely ideas for lolita-inspired favors include monogrammed fans (maybe with a little pamphlet on the language of fans), a small box of personalized truffles, or even a small deck of playing cards.

♥Reception: Instead of a fancy, expensive dinner party, have a tea party around brunch time. That way, not only is it often cheaper to rent venues earlier in the day, but you can also connect to your inner Mad Hatter!

♥Bridesmaid gifts: Anything with pearls, trailing ribbons, or rhinestones!

Lolitas: Are you planning on getting married? If so, will you include lolita in your festivities, or is it an "appropriate time and place" type of deal?

(Oh, also, heads up- starting Monday, I'm going to be in New Zealand for two weeks! I'm planning on having some articles scheduled to go up while I'm gone, but that may or may not happen.

An affirmation is a declaration of something that's true; an affirmation prayer is a religious or metaphysical technique that focuses on a positive outcome instead of a negative one (thanks, Wikipedia!). While "prayer" is a term I shy away from, because I dislike anything that has religious connotations, I think of an affirmation as being a collection of positive thoughts that sees you through hard times, and I think it's important for everyone to have one.

Here's the affirmation I've taken to saying to myself before bed at night, or some variation thereof:

I am a creation of love and beauty. Everything I do spreads positivity and happiness to the people around me. I share the light in my soul with everyone who is dear to me, and I strive to be someone who makes their lives better simply for knowing me. I am cool and calm and collected, and completely comfortable with myself no matter how I look, dress, or feel. The negativity I encounter is nothing compared to the joy I hold within me, and even the darkest of my own depressions can be beaten by it.When I am in doubt of my own awesomeness, I remember that I am a goddess of love and beauty in my own way. I am powerful and capable, and obstacles fall before me; everything I strive for I can accomplish, and if not, it's because accomplishing it will not further my growth as a human being. Everything I have encountered comes together within me to shape me into the person I am today, no matter how awful it seemed at the time. With the love, peace, and joy within me, I am unstoppable. I am fearless. I cannot be beaten.

I think it's really important for everyone to have an affirmation that will lift their spirits when challenges seem insurmountable. If you don't have one yet, I really suggest writing one for yourself! It can be as simple or complex as you like; this one is rather long, but another mantra of mine that I find myself falling back to time and again is as easy as "Breathe. You can do this." The important part of your affirmation is that it reminds you of everything you're striving for and how amazing your life will be once you accomplish these goals. It'll get your through difficult times and remind you that whatever you're living through at that moment, no matter how dire it seems, will someday be one more challenge you've learned and grown from.

Do you have a motto?

Share your own affirmations in the comments section!

If you don't already have one, what would yours be?

I'm definitely not an beauty expert, but every lolita -hell, every PERSON - knows that make-up has two affects on your overall look: it either enhances or detracts. There are some lolita make-up moves that I've noticed in the past few years which seem, to me, rarely to do the former and almost always do the latter.

As with any part of your coordinate, everything you do with your make-up should be considered objectively to make sure it's enhancing the image you're going for. If you were wearing a completely sweet coordinate, for example, entirely of mint and pink, would you put on a big, black, gothic headdress? It may be interesting circumstantially, but for the most part, I'd advise against it. It's the same with make-up: if it detracts from the look of the rest of your outfit or overpowers it or negatively draws attention to itself, you're better off going without.

As always, remember: there are exceptions to every rule, so don't think of these as hard, concrete facts. Almost everything I mention here, while I'm typing, I think, "Yeah, but there was that really cute girl at the meet-up who..." or, "Yeah, but what about that picture you saw on Tumblr the other day?" So if I knock down your favorite make-up tip, please don't be offended! There are right ways and wrong ways to do everything.

A Loose List of Lolita Make-up Don'ts:

♥Over-concealing: One of the biggest parts of lolita make-up is a porcelain, doll-like appearance, and that's not always very easily-achieved by us humans, who're prone to redness, blemishes, and even skin tone. However, it's important to resist the urge to go really crazy on the Erase Paste, as concealers and foundations and primers and powders can cake up really easily and look overdone. Over-doing it will draw attention to whatever it is you're trying to cover up and can settle in the lines in your face and make you look old, which is not exactly the way to achieve effortless, light, child-like beauty. Lord knows I can be prone to this one myself, hence why it's right at the top of the list!

♥Lining the lower lash line: Now, this isn't always bad, but in a lot of alternative fashion I often see heavy black liner under the eye with nothing in the lid. Here's the problem with that: a dark, heavy line along the bottom of the eye pulls the onlooker's eye down and makes it look like the wearer has heavy undereye circles (could I have said the word "eye" more in that sentence?!) Instead, what looks better is a thin line of eyeliner all along the upper lash line (maybe getting a little thick toward the outer edge, or finish with a cat-eye if you're feeling fancy) and line only the outer third of your lower lash line- from the outer corner to the iris, or colored part, of your eye; this will make your eyes look wider and brighter, and therefore more awake. Bonus points if you use a soft shadow instead of thick, heavy liner on the lower lash line.

♥Pink or red eye shadow: To be perfectly honest, I almost didn't include this one, because I see it often, and it's very often done right. However, with certain skin tones, pink or red eye shadow or liner will make your eyes look red, making you look tired, like you've been crying, or like you have pink eye, none of which are very loli at all! If you're very gung-ho about using one of these colors in your make-up look, try to either find a shade that compliments your skin tone, or pair it with a neutral and use the pink/red as an accent color.

♥Wash your face at night!: This is such a big one for everyone, but especially lolitas, to go back to that porcelain look we try so hard to emulate. If you don't wash off your make-up and sweat and all the other nastiness we accumulate during the day, it'll cause breakouts. I'm pretty sure everyone knows this, but it bears repeating! A daily cleanser and a moisturizer should be used once a day, and deep exfoliation once a week. Another quick fix are make-up remover wipes. Or, if you're thrifty, bathroom wipes with vitamin E and aloe- they have to same active ingredients but are much less expensive!

What are your least-favorite make-up techniques that show up on lolitas often?

(No naming names!)

Last weekend, I helped my friend Marrisa host a lovely little brunch for our local lolitas. It was a most excellent afternoon- much fun was had all around, or so I'd like to think! Here are some shots of the food we provided:

The table, minus Marrisa's salad and plus a photobombing Remi

In another life I went to school for food photography.

...in this other life, I was probably also a lot better at it than I am in this one. Oh well.

Remi + kitten: One of many more to come

Everybody!

Jillian:

Gloria:

Remi:

Marrisa, our hostess:

Me- more here!

Aaaaaaand.... catspam. I have no regrets.

Remi + Toby = OTP. Seriously, I have no idea why I have so many pictures of her with this cat, but they're all so damn cute!

I think I lied. Actually, in another life I'm a cat photographer.

♥Tips for hosting your own Loli Brunch ♥♥Offer a variety of options! Scones or waffles or cinnamon buns are delicious brunch staples, but make sure you have something that isn't so decadent. Marrisa made a delicious grilled pear salad, and I brought granola with soy milk.♥In the same vein, as always, make sure there are no food or pet allergies that you need to watch out for!♥Get creative with drinks. Everyone was excited to try the iced hojicha Marrisa had made as well as taking their pick of a plethora of teas. Another cute idea would be Italian sodas- buy a bunch of cutely-colored syrups and some Sprite or seltzer and let your guests concoct libations to match their outfits.♥Experiment with table settings! Mismatched glasses, silverware, or place settings give a wonderland vibe; use vases or milk bottles as pitchers for cold drinks; plain white teacups on vibrantly-patterned chine saucers are a stark contrast and bring life to the table.♥Have a communal bonding activity, especially if you don't know everyone well. We happened to luck out by having ridiculously personable cats to play/camwhore with and later on in the afternoon we played Text Twist, but a cute card game or a craft would be nice too.


Extra: This is how Marrisa actually, literally got me into my corset this morning! Re-enacted for the sake of the camera.

This is what I wore to help host Loli Brunch at my friend Marrisa's apartment this Sunday. It was a lovely afternoon full of sweets, cats, and sex jokes- de rigueur for my local gals!

What I wore:

Dress: BABY, the Stars Shine Bright

Corset: The Lady & The Leopard (Local company)

Bonnet: Handmade

Magpie Nest brooch: Amaranth Opulent

Socks: Uniqlo

Boots: Forever 21

A close-up of the Magpie Nest:

This is one of my favorite AO pieces, like, ever. I love making Magpie Nests, but they're so difficult to ship that I only ever make them on commission or for myself (occasionally for events I'll be selling at, like local craft fairs or anime conventions).

And because I promised cats...

Don't worry, there'll be plenty of Toby and his brother Tux in the meetup report next week! Also, love this pic because you can see my brand new septum piercing- after years of pining after it, I felt the need to shock myself out of a dodgy patch I went through last week, so I took the plunge. I ADORE it. I feel so much more like myself with it- so much more Taurean, too! It's the piercing of the Bull ♥

And apologies for not updating last week! The entire Northeast was under a blanket of unseasonable snow and most of the state lost power. I'll make up for it by all the posts I have planned for coming weeks, promise!