An affirmation is a declaration of something that's true; an affirmation prayer is a religious or metaphysical technique that focuses on a positive outcome instead of a negative one (thanks, Wikipedia!). While "prayer" is a term I shy away from, because I dislike anything that has religious connotations, I think of an affirmation as being a collection of positive thoughts that sees you through hard times, and I think it's important for everyone to have one.

Here's the affirmation I've taken to saying to myself before bed at night, or some variation thereof:

I am a creation of love and beauty. Everything I do spreads positivity and happiness to the people around me. I share the light in my soul with everyone who is dear to me, and I strive to be someone who makes their lives better simply for knowing me. I am cool and calm and collected, and completely comfortable with myself no matter how I look, dress, or feel. The negativity I encounter is nothing compared to the joy I hold within me, and even the darkest of my own depressions can be beaten by it.When I am in doubt of my own awesomeness, I remember that I am a goddess of love and beauty in my own way. I am powerful and capable, and obstacles fall before me; everything I strive for I can accomplish, and if not, it's because accomplishing it will not further my growth as a human being. Everything I have encountered comes together within me to shape me into the person I am today, no matter how awful it seemed at the time. With the love, peace, and joy within me, I am unstoppable. I am fearless. I cannot be beaten.

I think it's really important for everyone to have an affirmation that will lift their spirits when challenges seem insurmountable. If you don't have one yet, I really suggest writing one for yourself! It can be as simple or complex as you like; this one is rather long, but another mantra of mine that I find myself falling back to time and again is as easy as "Breathe. You can do this." The important part of your affirmation is that it reminds you of everything you're striving for and how amazing your life will be once you accomplish these goals. It'll get your through difficult times and remind you that whatever you're living through at that moment, no matter how dire it seems, will someday be one more challenge you've learned and grown from.

Do you have a motto?

Share your own affirmations in the comments section!

If you don't already have one, what would yours be?

I'm definitely not an beauty expert, but every lolita -hell, every PERSON - knows that make-up has two affects on your overall look: it either enhances or detracts. There are some lolita make-up moves that I've noticed in the past few years which seem, to me, rarely to do the former and almost always do the latter.

As with any part of your coordinate, everything you do with your make-up should be considered objectively to make sure it's enhancing the image you're going for. If you were wearing a completely sweet coordinate, for example, entirely of mint and pink, would you put on a big, black, gothic headdress? It may be interesting circumstantially, but for the most part, I'd advise against it. It's the same with make-up: if it detracts from the look of the rest of your outfit or overpowers it or negatively draws attention to itself, you're better off going without.

As always, remember: there are exceptions to every rule, so don't think of these as hard, concrete facts. Almost everything I mention here, while I'm typing, I think, "Yeah, but there was that really cute girl at the meet-up who..." or, "Yeah, but what about that picture you saw on Tumblr the other day?" So if I knock down your favorite make-up tip, please don't be offended! There are right ways and wrong ways to do everything.

A Loose List of Lolita Make-up Don'ts:

♥Over-concealing: One of the biggest parts of lolita make-up is a porcelain, doll-like appearance, and that's not always very easily-achieved by us humans, who're prone to redness, blemishes, and even skin tone. However, it's important to resist the urge to go really crazy on the Erase Paste, as concealers and foundations and primers and powders can cake up really easily and look overdone. Over-doing it will draw attention to whatever it is you're trying to cover up and can settle in the lines in your face and make you look old, which is not exactly the way to achieve effortless, light, child-like beauty. Lord knows I can be prone to this one myself, hence why it's right at the top of the list!

♥Lining the lower lash line: Now, this isn't always bad, but in a lot of alternative fashion I often see heavy black liner under the eye with nothing in the lid. Here's the problem with that: a dark, heavy line along the bottom of the eye pulls the onlooker's eye down and makes it look like the wearer has heavy undereye circles (could I have said the word "eye" more in that sentence?!) Instead, what looks better is a thin line of eyeliner all along the upper lash line (maybe getting a little thick toward the outer edge, or finish with a cat-eye if you're feeling fancy) and line only the outer third of your lower lash line- from the outer corner to the iris, or colored part, of your eye; this will make your eyes look wider and brighter, and therefore more awake. Bonus points if you use a soft shadow instead of thick, heavy liner on the lower lash line.

♥Pink or red eye shadow: To be perfectly honest, I almost didn't include this one, because I see it often, and it's very often done right. However, with certain skin tones, pink or red eye shadow or liner will make your eyes look red, making you look tired, like you've been crying, or like you have pink eye, none of which are very loli at all! If you're very gung-ho about using one of these colors in your make-up look, try to either find a shade that compliments your skin tone, or pair it with a neutral and use the pink/red as an accent color.

♥Wash your face at night!: This is such a big one for everyone, but especially lolitas, to go back to that porcelain look we try so hard to emulate. If you don't wash off your make-up and sweat and all the other nastiness we accumulate during the day, it'll cause breakouts. I'm pretty sure everyone knows this, but it bears repeating! A daily cleanser and a moisturizer should be used once a day, and deep exfoliation once a week. Another quick fix are make-up remover wipes. Or, if you're thrifty, bathroom wipes with vitamin E and aloe- they have to same active ingredients but are much less expensive!

What are your least-favorite make-up techniques that show up on lolitas often?

(No naming names!)

Last weekend, I helped my friend Marrisa host a lovely little brunch for our local lolitas. It was a most excellent afternoon- much fun was had all around, or so I'd like to think! Here are some shots of the food we provided:

The table, minus Marrisa's salad and plus a photobombing Remi

In another life I went to school for food photography.

...in this other life, I was probably also a lot better at it than I am in this one. Oh well.

Remi + kitten: One of many more to come

Everybody!

Jillian:

Gloria:

Remi:

Marrisa, our hostess:

Me- more here!

Aaaaaaand.... catspam. I have no regrets.

Remi + Toby = OTP. Seriously, I have no idea why I have so many pictures of her with this cat, but they're all so damn cute!

I think I lied. Actually, in another life I'm a cat photographer.

♥Tips for hosting your own Loli Brunch ♥♥Offer a variety of options! Scones or waffles or cinnamon buns are delicious brunch staples, but make sure you have something that isn't so decadent. Marrisa made a delicious grilled pear salad, and I brought granola with soy milk.♥In the same vein, as always, make sure there are no food or pet allergies that you need to watch out for!♥Get creative with drinks. Everyone was excited to try the iced hojicha Marrisa had made as well as taking their pick of a plethora of teas. Another cute idea would be Italian sodas- buy a bunch of cutely-colored syrups and some Sprite or seltzer and let your guests concoct libations to match their outfits.♥Experiment with table settings! Mismatched glasses, silverware, or place settings give a wonderland vibe; use vases or milk bottles as pitchers for cold drinks; plain white teacups on vibrantly-patterned chine saucers are a stark contrast and bring life to the table.♥Have a communal bonding activity, especially if you don't know everyone well. We happened to luck out by having ridiculously personable cats to play/camwhore with and later on in the afternoon we played Text Twist, but a cute card game or a craft would be nice too.


Extra: This is how Marrisa actually, literally got me into my corset this morning! Re-enacted for the sake of the camera.

This is what I wore to help host Loli Brunch at my friend Marrisa's apartment this Sunday. It was a lovely afternoon full of sweets, cats, and sex jokes- de rigueur for my local gals!

What I wore:

Dress: BABY, the Stars Shine Bright

Corset: The Lady & The Leopard (Local company)

Bonnet: Handmade

Magpie Nest brooch: Amaranth Opulent

Socks: Uniqlo

Boots: Forever 21

A close-up of the Magpie Nest:

This is one of my favorite AO pieces, like, ever. I love making Magpie Nests, but they're so difficult to ship that I only ever make them on commission or for myself (occasionally for events I'll be selling at, like local craft fairs or anime conventions).

And because I promised cats...

Don't worry, there'll be plenty of Toby and his brother Tux in the meetup report next week! Also, love this pic because you can see my brand new septum piercing- after years of pining after it, I felt the need to shock myself out of a dodgy patch I went through last week, so I took the plunge. I ADORE it. I feel so much more like myself with it- so much more Taurean, too! It's the piercing of the Bull ♥

And apologies for not updating last week! The entire Northeast was under a blanket of unseasonable snow and most of the state lost power. I'll make up for it by all the posts I have planned for coming weeks, promise! 

So, technically this isn't a daily outfit, but I decided a few days ago to try and put together a Halloween costume for myself...

Here you have it! Flapper-loli!

Rundown:

♥One piece: BABY, the Stars Shine Bright

♥Fur: Vintage (inherited from my Grandmother)

♥Hat: Forever21

♥Heels, pearls, tights: Offbrand

Unfortunately, as of yet I'm not sure if I'll even be wearing this costume this year. The two big events which I was invited to are both happening on the same night, and the one I'm actually going to is probably going to include something mosh-related, which I would never subject my old-school velvet BABY OP to! So that's why I'm posting it here, a few days early: I love this coord, so I have to use it for something! It'll be perfect for wintertime, though, so I'm sure I'll get to bring it out at least once this season.

And now, I leave you with my Halloween playlist- songs that capture the way the holiday feels for me: creepy and slightly psychotic with violent undertones and something that you just can't name hiding barely under the surface. I promise I'll try not to fill the entire thing with Florence and the Machine (under the cut so it doesn't kill your browser, but don't worry- they're just youtube videos!).