image from weheartit.com

They're pretty common in lolita. Perfect make-up is almost a necessity, and eyeliner & mascara will do wonders to your eyes, but sometimes there's just one final, absolutely necessary step. Is it the rhinestones at the corners of her eyes? Is it the glitter shadow, or the perfectly-manicured brow? All are great ways to add to your look, but there's one last thing, and despite the fact that they're sometimes glaringly obvious when worn, it is by far one of the best ways to make your eyes look doll-wide, and no, I'm not talking about circle lenses. If a butterfly flapping its wings causes a hurricane by the time it travels around the globe, you'd hate to think what one wink from these babies could do.

Yes, today we're going to talk about false lashes. They might be intimidating, but if you find the right style &apply them correctly they can be SO worth it. They will make your eyes stand out more and look wider &brighter, making you look more awake - like you have big porcelain doll eyes. First, let's talk about styles (examples from Shu Uemura):

• Natural Lashes. These are usually black or brown and made to just enhance your natural eyes. Usually they're the same length as natural lashes or only a little longer and slightly thicker. These are good for daily dressups and non-lolita wear - they'll enhance but they won't POP like "fancy" ones will.
• Individual Lashes. These are individual clumps of a few lashes each that you place manually wherever you need. Directions for use here - I have never used them myself, but they seem to be an interesting idea &something I'd like to try in the future.
• "Fancy" Lashes. These are the lashes favored by most lolitas, in my experience. They are big &dramatic &impossible to ignore. They come in hundreds of styles, from feathered to jewelled to glittery to colored to lace to... basically, if you name it you can find it. My favorites that I've worn myself are these with little pearls stuck THROUGH the lashes. Unfortunately I left them at my parents house and found them "mysteriously" cut to pieces with all the pearls pulled off. I think I know who the culprits are...

These are the main styles - obviously, within each there are hundreds &hundreds of variations, so shop around. Speaking of, where can you buy them? If you're interested in lashes for everyday wear, I recommend going to a high-end cosmetics store like MAC or Sephora and getting a really nice, natural-looking pair. However, for the crazier once-in-a-while styles, I've had amazing luck with Halloween and costume stores like Party City. If it's out of season or you live in a country or area where Halloween isn't celebrated (poor thing!), you can find them online as well. My Diva's Closet is very popular and has a great selection, but I've never ordered from them myself. Another thing to think about is adhesive. Many companies include a small sample tube with their lashes, but not always - check the packaging to make sure. There are also self-adhesive lashes - I don't love them, but they work for some people &are good for beginners who don't wnat to have to worry about glue drying. I'd like to point out that most adhesive contains latex, to which many people (including myself) are allergic. I found latex-free adhesive at my local beauty store but I'm nervous to try it out because of the horror stories I've heard about it: I remember hearing about a lolita who wore used a supposedly "latex-free" adhesive, only to wake up the next day with her eyes swollen shut because it wasn't exactly as hypo-allergetic as the packaging made it out to be. My reaction isn't terrible, but it was only recently that I realized that my eyes aren't supposed to itch &sting the entire time I'm wearing my falsies, so pretty soon I'll probably bite the bullet and try the latex-free stuff soon.

Okay, so you have your lashes: now, let's apply. There are many companies that make eyelash applicators, but they kind of scare me - curlers are intimidating enough! Make-up is not supposed to need machines! I just apply them myself, by hand, the old-fashioned way. Everyone has their own method, but here's what I do:

• Apply all other make-up except mascara first - your primer, shadow, liner, etc.
• Before applying glue, take your lashes and put them against your lashline to make sure they're the right length- trim if necessary from the inside corner.
• Apply a thin line of glue on the lash band.
• Wait a few seconds to give glue time to "set". Once it becomes tacky, you can begin applying.
• Start at the outer corner and lay the lash on your eyelid as close to the lash line as possible. Press it into place &scootch it down a little further to ensure it stays as low as possible. Continue in the same manner with the center and inner corner, then repeat the whole process on the other eye.
• Apply mascara (black, brown, or clear for funky colors). If you want, you can apply some liquid liner over the band, but I've never found it necessary. Curl lightly with an eyelash curler so your natural lashes stick to the fake ones.

&you're done! They're a little strange at first, but you should get used to them in a minute or two. If they still feel uncomfortable or even painful, remove them &reapply. After removing them for the day, clean the band &lashes with a bit of eye make-up remover - whatever you're using on the rest of your eye should be fine. Depending on how healthy your natural lashes are, it may be good to rub some petrolium jelly/Vaseline on them, as mascara &chemicals in other makeup can dry out your lashes, making them brittle &weak - I've never done this myself but I've heard it helps others.

Besides that, there's not much to it. Just be careful - a well-timed wink from one of these babies and you'll be the apple of any onlooker's eye. Use with caution, &be careful where you aim these things!

So some of you may know or have caught on that I'm currently attending (real!) college. An even smaller number of people will know that I am an English major (insert ubiquitous English major joke here), &thus have to read lots &lots &lots of essays, short stories, and novels; I'm currently required to read about 250-300 pages a week, &it's just going to get worse - whew! Even the things you love get tedious after too long, &while I adore reading, I find myself slumping through my homework, leaving hundreds of pages unread until mere hours before class. What do I do to keep my interest? Well, as many before me have, I relate it back to something I love: lolita.

A while back, Victoria Suzanne wrote this excellent post about viewing your lolita coordinates as an art form. It talks about making up a story to inspire your outfit. Well, I'm going to expand on this - taking someone else's writing as inspiration for your outfits.

I'll provide two examples,fittingly by Edgar Allan Poe, one of my favorite poets.

• Romance
• Annabel Lee

If you aren't familiar with these poems, I suggest you read them from the links provided - it's not really necessary to understand the post, but they're lovely, so you should do it anyway. No, I changed my mind - it is necessary; not as a lolita or a reader of my blog/this post, just as a person. Do it. Trust me.

(Poetry will change your life!!! Can you tell I'm an English major?)

So, when you're taking inspiration from anything - books, poems, music - there are three things to take note of: mood, symbolism, and themes. I figured Poe would be a good example to illustrate these, because he uses all three heavily. For the mood, take note of the type of language the creator (which I will henceforth refer to as "he," because my example is a male writer) uses, and for poetry, note the cadence: choppiness can denote anger, while flowing, beautiful words can denote romance, etc. Symbolism is easy - what hidden undercurrents does he use? What symbolism does he use to make his point? Poe compares Annabel Lee's eyes to stars, so I played off of that a little. Symbolism is something that is alluded to or mentioned only once; anything repeated often throughout the piece is a theme. A specific animal (Romance mentions birds fairly frequently), a location (the seaside in Annabel Lee), or any other number of things would count as a theme. A mood can also be a theme - the heavy, mourning air of Annabel Lee is a good example.


Now that you've narrowed down the mood, symbolism, and themes in the piece you want to emulate, look for other things, such as allusions to color or specific clothing items. If you can find that, you're straight - otherwise &more likely you'll have to do a bit more detective work. Use your symbolism or themes for this one - I added shells &seafoam green to the outfit I used for Annabel Lee because of the repeated theme of the ocean.

Romance

For Romance, I skipped any deep, philosophical interpretations and just went with my feelings and thoughts when I read this poem. I thought of nature, the woods, springtime,  and a childhood sweetheart the older, more logical narrator is trying to forget. I tried to find other interpretations of the poem, but the internet failed me, so this is all I have to go on. I wanted an almost childish, Alice Deco-type look for the girl I got the impression of, so I went with lighter spring colors and floral themes, like a child wandering away from a picnic to go pick wildflowers. If anyone else has another interpretation I'd love to hear/see it!

Annabel Lee

Not going to lie, Annabel Lee is my favorite poem of all time, evereverever. It was the first poem I read of Edgar Allan Poe's, and it's stuck with me strongly ever since. Again I wanted a childish air, since he flat out states that Annabel Lee was a child when she died. Pearls, seafoam green, and the sailor top all allude to the seaside kingdom in which the lovers lived, whereas the contrasting dark colors &veil imply mourning. The necklace has a cherub in it, referencing the angels ("not half so happy in heaven"). The stars are a a reference to the celestial symbolism in the last stanza of the poem.

We all get into our slumps- no one can avoid it, no matter how much you love x, y, or z. And whether it's your homework, your wardrobe, or your literary choices, I will always believe that beauty can help pull you out of it- whether that beauty is finding sartorial inspiration from a poem, imagining what the characters in that Nella Larsen novel are wearing, or doing your make-up as described in your Ancient Egyptian history homework a la Cleopatra. But don't think of inspiration as only something to rescue you when you're not your best - taking inspiration from the things you read, hear, or see is a great way to keep you connected to your environment &can be a great way to mesh your love of __________ with your love of lolita.
(Also, I might be starting a series called the Literary Lolita, relating the things I'm learning from my English classes back to lolita. It won't be a scheduled thing - just whenever I encounter something post-worthy. What do you guys think?)

Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.
- Confucious

What is beauty? This is a question humanity has strived to answer probably since the invention of language. All those silly ancient geniuses - they didn't know what I know. For every person the definition of beauty is different - maybe beauty is making men want you, or being lovable or loved, or just being happy with yourself. What is beauty to you? Here's my opinion-

Beauty lies not in the body but in the heart &soul. This beauty we express with our bodies, but we can only do that by tapping into the beauty in our soul. A lolita spends hours getting dressed, coiffing, making-up, and then stands in front of the mirror and smiles. This happiness that is welling up from inside her - this is her soul set free and expressed in her body.

By today's standards, thinking like this probably makes me a "hippie." I have no problem with that - there are worse fates, worse labels society could have inflicted me with. Some of you will not like what I'm saying because of that - many people are made uncomfortable by talk of the soul these days. I don't understand it, but I don't have to. I don't live for them. It's for those of you who are smiling right now, who are reading and nodding and smiling in agreement - it's for you that I write (I speak, I document) for, not for those who are snickering and shaking their head in disbelief or even disgust.

Part of beauty, probably the most important part, is acceptance. Accept that your soul may not want you to look like other people's (or that maybe somedays it does - some days it may beg you to leave petticoats forlorn and comfort it in sweats or jeans or Uggs). I think that lolitas have gotten past this hurdle simply by being lolitas, by accepting that they love a sweet, frilly fashion that much of the outside world finds ridiculous.

We're used to not being accepted. We face it every day by the outside world - and occasionally in our own world, too. It is beautiful to accept that even the people you identify with may not understand or accept your beauty, whether these people are your family, your friends, or even our online lolita communities. It is beautiful to accept this with grace &dignity but to still express your beauty. However, it is important to respect yourself enough not to show this inner beauty to those who will not respect it. Sometimes it is more honorable to keep your beauty inside to protect it and yourself.

Beauty offends. Lolitas know this well. Offense is dangerous. While it is important that your body reflects your soul, protecting your mind &body are most important. An illustration of all these points would be the girl who posts to daily_lolita in a less than perfect outfit. She is trying to show the beauty in her soul, and she is calling that beauty lolita. It may not fit the rules we all follow, and many of us will tell her - not necessarily rudely (I'm not going to go into THAT here), but we will give her tips on how she can mold her internal aesthetic to fit this label more. She can choose to follow these rules or not - if she chooses to alter slightly her aesthetic and be approved of by the community (in which there is no fault), she will be accepted. If she does not, she doesn't need to expose herself to the community anymore. It's as simple as that - if you want to be accepted by certain people, cater to fit their ideas. If those ideas aren't something that sit well with you for whatever reason, distance yourself from those people and continue living as you feel you should. In this case, our "ita" can either conform to the rules of lolita and continue posting without complaint, or she can continue to dress as she wants but keep it to herself &for herself &not post it anywhere.

Though it hurts my Taurus (by which I mean my internal aesthetic &also my sense of justice &what is right or wrong) to admit this, sometimes internal beauty must be stifled for the health of the mind &body - but we must ask, what is the point of a healthy body if the soul ails? Therefore I leave the final decision up to you, as it often is circumstantial. Will you honor your mind, body, or soul? Is there a way to honor all three? Or, really, is there a difference between them?

Who knows how you meet her. Maybe she commutes on the same train as you. Maybe you see her walking around your neighborhood, or she's a customer at your workplace. Maybe she sits in front of you in class. No matter where you found her, your mind is captured &your heart flutters when you think about her - her curls, her bows &lace, her long bejeweled lashes all make your breath come fast.

She's unlike anything you've ever seen or experienced, and because of this you have no idea how to approach her. What if she's too shy to say something to you? Ah, this old song and dance - so familiar yet this time it feels so different! Don't worry, I know how you feel.

So you're hooked on a lolita. It's happened before and will happen again, to many guys &many girls around the world - intoxicated by the beauty of the poof. Your first task in pursuing her is definition. First, I'm going to start: the girl I'm talking about in this article has strong lifestyle leanings. Lolita isn't just a weekend hobby for her; it forms a large part of her aesthetic &maybe even morals or ideals. The "you" is the pursuer. Male or female is unimportant, however I will be making the assumption that "you" are male - sorry ladies. I will also assume that "you" know only a very little bit about lolita, but are willing to learn &plan on doing your research. Now, your turn. You need to figure out what it is you like about her. If it's just that you like how she dresses, a little warning bell should go off: if you just like her because she stands out, or if you're sexually attracted to the style, I'm worried. You should be approaching her as a person, not just a lolita. However, appreciating the childlike innocence of her clothing or the creativity she puts into her appearance is not a bad starting point, because you can tell a lot about a person from her appearance. However, your first step in all of this is remembering that your beloved lolita is, first and foremost, a person, &you can't know everything about someone just from the clothing he or she decides to wear.

So, you've examined your feelings &determined that they aren't just flights of sexual fancy or anything otherwise detrimental to the object of your affections. Great! Now you can start wooing her. Like I said above, a lolita is a regular girl too, so anything that will work with other girls probably will work on her too - take her to the movies, or coffee, or out for drinks if you're of age. Not every girl will go for this, however; if you really want to let your lifestyle lolita know that you're savvy (&you better be! Do your research!), you'll need to get a bit more creative - though admittedly, as some of these require knowing what she's into or are a bit more sappy than others, not all of these would make a great first date.

Some of my personal favorite date ideas:

• Of course, tea at a teahouse. You can find some great ones as well as reviews online.
• Antiquing! You're a real catch if you'll put up with this for her. You have to know the right shops, though - obviously a high school girl won't have much use for a store specializing in furniture, etc. Somewhere specializing in clothes &trinkets is good. You'll have to do your own exploring and asking around for this.
• Have a camera? Interested in photography? You just earned major bonus points with most lolitas. Propose a photoshoot at a Gothic cathedral-style church, forest, or graveyard - you'll have to do some stealthy research to figure out which would suit her fancy most, which will earn you even more bonus points.
• Go out for ice cream in a park with a pond. Skip stones, wish on pennies, and pick a bunch of dandelions for her.
• Go ghost-hunting! Obviously this won't be everyone's cup of tea, but almost all the lolitas I know have a huge thing for ghosts, &there's definitely something romantic about traipsing through a centuries-old graveyard with a digital camera. Who knows, maybe you'll be possessed by the ghosts of a pair of star-crossed lovers! Be still my heart.
• Find an orchard or berry farm and pick your own fruit.
• Alternately, in winter, go ice skating with a picnic of soup, grilled cheese, &hot cocoa.
• Look into museums. Most lolitas have a great love of or at least interest in history, and would be pleasantly surprised if they were invited to an exhibit on Victorian fashion or the history of tea. Again, stealthy research to figure out what type of exhibit would suit her fancy.
• Take her to costume party. Wear boystyle, ouji, dandy, or even steampunk. It'd be a good way to introduce her to your friends without her feeling out of place, &if you pull off your outfit well you will have mucho brownie points, promise.

I've noticed most of these have a heavy gothic/classic leaning. If your girl is more interested in sweet (meaning she wears lots of light colors &childish-themed prints. Didn't you do that research?!), try:

• Taking her to an artisan chocolate shop...
• ...or really any candy store &buy her a pound of anything she wants. Be careful of the oncoming sugar high.
• Take a cake-decorating class together - you're going to have to be pretty secure in your masculinity for this, but you'll definitely get some bonus points.
• Go to a carnival or country fair - or, if none are available, you can go for a standard amusement park. Points for wooden rollercoasters, vintage ferris wheels, and old-fashioned carousels.
• Find a forest or open field with wildflowers in it. Go crazy picking the prettiest blooms (not too many, please!) &make her a bouquet. As if you're not emasculated enough as is, braid flowers into her hair. Okay, so maybe this would suit some of our lolita-hunting ladies better than gentlemen, but it's definitely super-squishy-romantic if you can bring yourself to do it!

As I said above, note that these are not necessarily first-date material. I recommend taking your lolita out for coffee or lunch first, get to know her (stealthy research can hereby commence - make mental note of anything she says that could be used as future-date fodder), and then suggest or imply one of the above. "Oh, you're into the paranormal? There's a cemetary that's supposed to be super haunted a few towns over, I've always wanted to go ghost-hunting there," or, "There's going to be a fair in town by the beach next week - ferris wheel, cotton candy, whole nine yards. I used to love going there when I was little, but none of my friends are into that stuff anymore &it's kind of boring to go alone..." Hopefully she'll get the hint &invite you. If not, don't be afraid to ask her yourself! Just like any girl, some lolitas are too shy to ask themselves, or don't want to seem too forward.

As a general tip: most lolitas are very detail- and appearance-oriented (obviously), so if you're a bit scruffy or ill-kempt it may not be a bad idea to clean up a bit. Not saying you have to start wearing suits &go around saying "my lady," but shaving that neckbeard or wearing a nicer shirt wouldn't be a bad idea. Not implying that all guys are gross, but if you tend to err on the side of messy you should try and put in the extra effort - if you alreadycomb your hair &deodorize often pay this section no mind :)

Okay, so we've gone over preliminaries, dates, and appearance. All the rest is up to you - what, you want me to talk to you for her too or something?! Well, I guess you're right, it can be kind of intimidating, and there are definitely some no-no's that are pretty common but decidedly vexing for lolitas or, really, followers of any alternative fashion. Asking her about her clothing is never a bad idea, however realize that most of the time lolitas are on guard when it comes to their style as they usually get a lot of flack for it. Be respectful, and avoid asking her why she's dressed "like that" or asking about her "costume" - horror of all horrors! Maybe a "I really like your dress - something special going on, or is that just your style?" or asking for details on specific pieces, but remember that too much interest can be pretty daunting or, unfortunately, in our society, may make her question your sexuality. Ask more about the detail behind the style - where did she buy her pieces? Is there a big following in your city/state/country? How did she learn about it? This will show her you're interested in the girl inside the dress, not just the dress itself, which is important - most people see only the clothes when looking at a lolita. She'll appreciate being seen as the person behind them for once.

Of course, as with any girl, take your cues from her. If she looks uncomfortable or is fiddling with her pencil or cellphone, she's not happy with the conversation - best to quit while you're ahead &maybe continue the next day or a few hours later. If she suddenly asks when the last homework assignment is due or what time the deli next door closes, you're probably making her uncomfortable - danger, Will Robinson! Avert conversation. As with the pursuit of any mate, play it by ear &play off of her reactions. Make note of her body language and reactions, and, when talking to any object of interest, let your personalty shine &get to know her. Maybe something will happen, maybe it won't - at least you'll never have to say "what if?"

Please consider:

It's a Saturday. You've just gotten out of your boring desk job filing papers and entering computer data, followed by, as always, a frustrating stop-and-go commute home filled with loud music and louder yelling at passers-by. You throw your coat and purse on the floor, remove the dirt &grime &business casual attire from yourself, and slide into the finest of dresses, striped stockings, frosted-cake-like shoes. Your hair is curled. You buy balloons. Your makeup consist of neutral-pink lips, false lashes, (rhinestones optional) and sequin balloons stuck to your cheeks. After hours of painting on eye makeup and perfecting your cats-eye liner, you and a pink-haired acrobat in Victorian undergarments spend another two hours navigating the train to Grand Central and the subway to Brooklyn. You wander with the help of strangers to your destination, making turns and deflecting commentary. You navigate through the shoddy neighborhood somewhere past ten PM, and just when you think you're really and truly lost with no help of salvation, you see it: down the block, a huge tempest of dry-ice fog pours from a glass doorway, threading through disturbingly syncopated music led mostly by what sounds like an accordion and drums. Coughing slightly, you enter - a young woman in stripes takes money from you, draws on your hands, and points you towards the bandstand of goths, lolitas, Neo-Victorians and retrofuturists. Corsets, bustle skirts, suspenders and frock coats are everywhere, and somewhere just out of sight, frolicking on the edge of your vision, is something glittery and intoxicating.

Welcome down the rabbit hole. Welcome to Dances of Vice.

Dances of Vice is, according to their website, "the art of nightlife revived." Set somewhere vaguely in the Jazz Age but accepting the chronologically misplaced from as far back as the Baroque period, each monthly party has its own theme, ranging from "Spring Awakening" to "Vintage Boudoir." This month's theme was Cursed Circus, and between the fairy lights and fire dancers, never could it have been better pulled off.

Anyone who's anyone in the Tri-State area (or, to be honest, anywhere in the US, if they're interested in the New Romantic movement) has heard of Dances of Vice, but not all of us have the pleasure of attending as often as we like. Interested in attending you first Dance of Vice? Parfait! However, do keep in mind:

• If you've never been to the location before, get directions beforehand. Google Maps has a new public transit option, and I recommend it if you're familiar with the subway station, however it confused country mouses Victoria Suzanne and I quite a bit! We ended up getting there almost entirely on the kindness of strangers, but this is NOT A GOOD IDEA unless you're at least a bit familiar with the area, because some people do like to mess with the tourists - and trust me, if you're wearing a huge frilly dress or a corset and bloomers, you're considered fresh meat.
• That being said, I've never found stereotypes to be less true than in New York City - When asking for directions I've never had anything but the most courteous of responses.
• Dress nicely but appropriately. Victoria knew she wanted to wear a corset and bloomers to the party itself, but also that it may not be the best idea to walk around Brooklyn in that getup. Wear a light jersey dress over revealing outfits, or bring a skirt (as Victoria decided on) to throw on during transit.
• Bring a bottle of water. Usually the bar has a pitcher and cups, but this time they ran out and we had to walk back to the subway dehydrated and hallucinating. Well, okay, not hallucinating.
• Bring a camera, especially one with video option. You will want to record this, trust me.
• Observe. Watch the acts Shien Lee has picked for you. Dissect people's outfits, and take pictures of the most inspiring ones. Take a good look at the vendors' tables (if there are any- vendors seem to vary depending on the theme& facilities available). Be an open door! Allow inspiration and acceptance to pass through you freely! (that's what she said?)
• Speaking of acceptance, you'll need lots of it. Between the glitter pasties, men in sequin hot pants, and vaguely homoerotic fire dancers (none of the above distastefully so, of course), this party took even me by surprise at times, and I've seen my fair share of shocking occurrences! However, everyone and everything I encountered there was incredibly beautiful, even the most shocking - open your mind, allow the shock to pass unnoticed, and just absorb all the creativity &freedom being contained in that one building.
• Mingle! This is a huge group of like-minded individuals. Strike up a conversation with anyone you find interesting, and be willing to have conversations struck up with you.
• Of course, as a disclaimer: be safe. Keep hydrated, stay with your friends, and if anyone or anything makes you uncomfortable it is totally okay to remove yourself from the situation. Remember, this is a party: you're there to have fun, not to pass out or be made uncomfortable in any way.
• Bring cash! There was a raffle there, as well as a few vendors with some really gorgeous wares.

Okay, so "anyone who's anyone" was really not the wording to use above - Dances of Vice is really an underground movement spread really only by word of mouth through the alt-fashion scenes of the Tri-State area &some other parts of the country. It's a really amazing atmosphere because of this - a sort of "The first rule of Dances of Vice is you do not talk about Dances of Vice" type thing. It's a raucous revelry of glitter, flashing lights, and scantily-clad beauties of both genders - I really don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I've never experienced anything like it. If you get the chance to attend one of these events, I can't recommend it more highly.

See Also:

• In the Big Top: Dances of Vice by Victoria Suzanne
• Dances of Vice main page
  
• Dances of Vice flickr pool