Before cutting my hair, I did a demonstration of some of my favorite styles. Now that I'm getting used to my new coif, I think I'll talk a bit about working with short hair for my fellow cropped cuties!

First of all, short hair itself is often regarded as more of a style than long, so it requires less effort. That doesn't mean you get to slack off, though! If anything, it means you need to take better care of your hair. Short hair shows greasiness and frizziness much more than long in my experience, so get a few good products or procedures you swear by - for example, I wash my hair with baking soda &vinegar right before I go to bed, then sleep on it, scrunching it to form curls periodically while I'm trying to fall asleep. Keeping your hair clean, shiny, &healthy is important no matter the length, &it is especially so for us shorties because we'll have less going on with the way we style it. Have a few stand-bys for bad hair day protection - longer hair can just be put into a bun or braid, but for us, not so much! Almost all of my friends swear by snoods, but other hats or claw clips if your hair is long enough will work well too. And for prevention, invest in a good dry shampoo, which will clean your hair without being washed out if you're in a rush, or keep some baking soda or baby powder on hand &lightly run it through your hair from roots to tip. It'll dry up the grease &ickiness, but don't do this for more than one day in a row or it'll be noticeable.

When I had long hair, I used it to accessorize itself - tiny braids or loose loops were staples for lazy days because they could hang with my waves or be pinned back for extra cute. Now, however, I find myself relying much more on outside implements like clips, headbands, and hairbows. I got a pack of glittery, bright-colored clips from Hot Topic on super-sale recently that I adore, which I really recommend - keep a few hair clips or bobbypins in your purse in case you find yourself wanting to snazz up a bit in a pinch. It's very important to invest in accessories if you have short hair - cute little star-shaped hair gems, flower bobbypins, and feathered headbands are all some of my favorites for daily wear. For lolita, I wear... well, all of those of course, but also mini-hats, hair bows on elastics or bobby pins, and of course, headbows. The latter presents its own unique challenges - long hair will be able to hold its own with a huge, head-eating bow, but short hair needs to be highly teased or otherwise styled HUEG so it doesn't just look flat &dead in comparison to your big, perky bow. However, a side bow looks very sweet with short hair of almost any type - curly, straight, boy-short, etc - and depending on your type of hair you can vary the size &style. For example, a long, flattish sidebow looks nice when my hair is curly, but when it's straight I prefer a double-sidebow headband. Do your own experimentation, though - head to your local Claire's or Icing store &try on their selection to see what works best for you.

So, what can you do? Here's a brainstorm of some of my favorites:

• Pull the front sides back &secure with a barrette or bobby pins and a bow comb. Bonus points if you braid them!
• Similarly, starting at your part, twist the hair tightly in on itself all the way across your hairline, behind your bangs if you have them. Secure behind your ear with a bobby pin. Cover the pin with a rose corsage.
• Gather all of your hair across the crown by inserting your thumbs behind your ears and pulling back. Secure with a ponytail, then curl the shit out of it. Top with a tiara.
• Too short for full pigtails? Using a similar method as above, gather the hair from your crown into two small ponytails above and slightly behind your ears. Use small bows or hair clips in these so the accessory doesn't overwhelm the style.
• If your hair is at least chin-length, you can probably do french braids if not regular ones. Try two small ones, it's easier on short hair than one because the hair doesn't have to reach as far to join the braid.
• Put your hair in pin curls before bed. Wake up &take them out. Instant pseudo-curl-fro - tease to enhance! Wear a small sidebow with it.
• In the end, if you miss long hair, you can always buy a wig or clip-in extensions - they're easier to wear with short hair sometimes, too!

Masquerade! Paper faces on display-

Masquerade

Hide your face so the world will never find you

I always say to keep your eyes open, because you never know when inspiration will strike you. On a blizzardy day last week, I was watching the Jim Carrey movie Yes-Man on TV with my boyfriend. While it was a cute, cheeky, enjoyable movie, there was one scene that actually really struck me, despite the obvious facetiousness of it. The premise of the movie is that the main character, Carl, attends a seminar and makes a commitment to turn his life around by accepting any opportunity that comes his way. The scene in question is one where, during a night of heavy drinking with his friends, he accidentally puts the moves on a beautiful girl with a huge, testosterone-rich boyfriend. Obviously, the boyfriend challenges Carl to a fight, who has to accept because of his "secret covenant," on one condition: that if he wins, he gets to take the man's pretty girlfriend to a ball - " 'cause she deserves that. Every pretty girl deserves to go to a ball," he slurs. After losing horribly and taking a few bystanders with him, his reaction is a tearful pout towards the camera and the realization that the pretty girl in question would never go to a ball.
This, oddly, got me thinking. At first, it was, "I'm so happy I've been to a ball!" thinking, among other things, of Dances of Vice. Then I realized, there really ARE a lot of girls in the world who'll never go to a ball. Is that a bad thing? Well, no, not necessarily. However, what is it that a ball really is? Is it just a place to drink punch and wear a fancy dress and sit around staring at the dance floor, waiting for someone to ask you to dance? If so, no - there is nothing wrong with not attending those balls. I'm thinking of course of the high school proms and homecoming dances and cotillions of my native twentieth-century Americana in this case - in fact, one might think it's better to avoid these cesspools of upper-middle-class adolescent debauchery. However, maybe this is skewed. We're lolitas, after all - nine times out of ten, don't we yearn for an era (bygone or non-existant) in which princesses are forever donning breathtaking gowns, staying out til midnight (but no later!), and being swept off their feet by the handsome, exquisitely-dressed gentleman in grand ballrooms with marble pillars and candelabra? The ideal ball is an ideal of escapism and beauty - a place of beauty and fantasy that any girl can escape to in her mind when the real world becomes too harsh. Like a lilting piece of music. Like a beautiful book of poetry. Like looking in the mirror and seeing a living doll stare back at you.
And what about these girls who never go to the ball? All of those girls, the ones who are content to live their lives the way they're "supposed" to, who go to class, go to work, party with their friends, and never think twice about what else life could hold for them - do they know what they're missing? Are they really missing it at all, or has it simply taken on a different manifestation in their lives? I don't dismiss the possibility. However, while my hippie idealization of the world is one where everyone appreciates &seeks out beauty, I know that this is vastly untrue in the world I have found myself. Therefore, I find it safe to assume and be disheartened by the idea that there are people in this world who will never truly find themselves captivated by the beauty the world can hold. Even worse are the people who, when surrounded by utter ugliness, cannot create a source of beauty to lose themselves in.
There are little girls who stare at me, eyes wide, as I walk through the supermarket or board a subway. This is to be expected of children, but even more interesting are those my own age, who see me in the cafeteria or walking to and from class, who get that same glassy, wide-mouthed look to them. Bewildered, they turn to their friends, who are already scoffing at the sheer immaturity of my dress, and fake a smile to save face, when in reality they are mystified - they have fallen under the same spell the dresses first cast upon my fellow lolitas and I. Will they ever be able to shake this enchantment? Can they ignore what just happened, can they decide it doesn't matter and forget the shattering of their universe, or reason it away? Probably. The human mind is capable of much, and as a lolita I constantly overestimate how groundbreaking &earth-shattering this fashion is to the rest of the world anyway. My school seems to have a good amount of artsy, "alternative" kids anyway, so it's possible that I've just been written off as one of them, which is fitting and doesn't bother me. But for the people who can't do that,who experience beauty and can't get it out of their heads, what recompense can they hope for? Only the one dancing in their minds.

Just imagine – you've spent hours getting ready, perfecting your outfit and hair and make-up. You arrive at the ball, give your hair a little fluff in a window's reflection, and then, horrified, you see it. Whatever it is, you are mortified- how could you let this happen?! It was a horrible slight of judgment - how could you have forgotten _____?! Don't panic– you have your Lolita Survival Kit!

Level 1 – things to throw in the bottom of your purse before you leave:

• Bobby pins and/or hair things
• Tide-to-go pen
• Lipgloss and mascara (both are make-up secret weapons, the two things that can most refresh your look)

Level 2 – keep in a little pouch, grab it on the way out the door:

• A travel-sized bottle of perfume
• Needle and thread and a few safety pins
• Make-up remover, for smeared mascara or eye liner
• Wisp toothbrush
  
• Extra cash
• Extra batteries for your camera
• Tweezers

Level 3 – keep in the back seat of your car

• A pair of pajamas for surprise slumber parties
• Toiletries like deodorant and a toothbrush, also for surprise slumber parties
• A change of shoes in case you step in mud or your shoes are somehow inappropriate – a picnic with friends is rained out and your heels aren't appropriate for clomping through the mall instead
• Emergency weather clothes – gloves, hat, and scarf in the winter; tanktop and sandals in the summer
• Extra cash, just in case – mentioned above but it bears repeating! You never know when you'll get lost and encounter a toll bridge
• Rations – some candy, a granola bar – something not likely to spoil, just in case you go to a meet-up to find nothing you can eat. Don't pass out driving home after wards – just nibble your rations!
• A book, in case you need to wait for someone.
• A comfy cutsew dress, in case you spill something on your skirt and need to change
• A cellphone charger, to reduce the risk of being stranded communicationless

Your lolita survival kit will make any situation manageable. Never fear make-up mistakes, follicle follies, or other awful alliterations again. Build your own today!

I've been interested in tea very seriously for years. Ever since I started this blog, I've been meaning to do an informational tea post, but I've kept putting it off or for forgetting about it. Carolyn of F* Yeah Lolita's recent post about exquisite teas got my blood pumping again, and, doki-doki-ing away, I didn't have any choice but to write up my own article!

So, why drink tea? Of course it is ~so lolita~, but why? Well, if you consider its fabled health benefits, it may not be a surprise; while being incredibly beneficial to one's heart and immune system, it is also said to be good for the nails and hair, while boosting the metabolism and fighting diabetes (both important when nomming away on cakes at a tea party!). Green tea especially also employs a unique combination of chemicals: EGCG, L-theanine, and caffeine. These chemicals combine in an interesting way- the caffeine affects your body in a similar way as it does in coffee or soda, but the L-theanine and EGCG put your brain into alpha, relaxed brain waves instead of beta brain waves (which is considered the unhealthy "fight-or-flight" reaction) as is usual with caffeine consumption. What this means is that your metabolism is boosted and you feel more alert, but the uncomfortable anxiousness and nervousness are assuaged. There is also much less caffeine in tea (around 15 - 60 mg) than in other caffeinated substances, with soda at 80 -140 mg and coffee at 60 - 200 mg. This is why people trying to wean off the substance are recommended to switch a few cups of coffee to a few cups of tea a day.

So, what different types of tea are there? Technically, the three main types are black, white, and green. These all come from the same plant (Camellia Sinensis) and use the leaves; however, the difference in them is the fermentation, which affects each type profoundly. Black tea, the most common, is fermented longest; it's considered "fully-fermented," though technically the term "fermentation" is a bit of a misnomer in and of itself, because the process we give this name to is actually just allowing the tea to oxidize during the drying process- black tea is allowed to dry longest, and thus loses a lot of properties that less-fermented green and white teas keep in tact. The next level of fermentation is green tea, which, as stated above, keeps chemicals such as EGCG that black tea looses. White tea is considered the most healthful and luxurious, as it undergoes much more careful handling and a shorter drying period, keeping the most chemicals and health benefits. White tea drying methods are also used in Silver Tips tea, which is usually the most expensive type: this tea uses only first-flush young leaves (the newest, youngest, most tender leaves from the first harvest of the season) - if you can get your hands on this I really recommend it! Beyond those, anything else is considered an "herbal" tea, or tisane (pronounced "tee-zahn") - the only "true" teas are those using leaves of the Camellia Sinensis plant.
Now you know what type of tea you want to go for. Your next question is, loose leaf or bag tea? There are pros and cons for each choice. For example, bag teas are cheaper and more convenient, but you have to be more careful - a lot of tea bags are mostly filings, which are very low-quality "fillers." You have a much better chance of quality control if you go with loose leaf, as well as superior taste and more blending capabilities - obviously, I recommend loose leaf, but it's a bit pricier (look to pay $3 - 15 per ounce, with 3 - 4 servings per ounce) and harder to get a hold of. Try your local health food store, or online - my personal favorite sites are Rishi Tea and DiviniTea. They're also both Fair Trade, organic, and kosher, all of which are important to me personally. What that means is that the teas were produced by workers in fair, safe conditions without the use of harmful chemicals, using only the best ingredients - I recommend checking packages and looking for certification for all three when buying teas. For a loose leaf tea, you'll need an infuser of some sort - this can be an individual teacup, a whole teapot, or even a french press (my favorite is this one from Rishi Tea). You can even steep the leaves in a normal teapot, then strain it when you pour it into the individual cup. If you want more tips on the best way to brew Western tea, check out Victoria Suzanne's post here.

I have a deep personal love of tea. I spent six month working in an organic hippie tearoom, and it was by far the best six months of my life. I learned so much more about tea than I ever thought was possible, and from this I learned more than I could have ever expected about myself, inner peace, and balance. There so are many reasons people drink tea- love of the taste, its possible health benefits, or for the pure aesthetic value of taking tea with friends. What's your reason?

marginally related image c/o we heart it

Between redoing my room at my parents' house, planning my move back to school, and working for a kitchen appliance company that is expected to be fluent in interior design, I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about decor. Today I was going through the newest issue of a design magazine we carry and was stunned by the trends I noticed - light, airy colors with Victorian detailing and scrollwork in the molding were greatly appreciated, but the thing that made me doki-doki most was the use of everyday items as focal points- things that may have been put there to grab attention but also look like they were just sort of put there, grew accustomed to their new homes, and never left. I love this trend - it seems so natural &organic to me. It's also a really easy way to transform a room - clear off a table and add a sweet, simple centerpiece and you can really transform a room.

I've put together a few ideas for simple, quick attention grabbers based on what I've been seeing in design magazines. I tried to base these around a sort of dreamy, fairytale-y, vintage-y aesthetic that I think my darling lolis would find inspiring. Hopefully these will help you all add a little more romance to your room!

• Buy a few pretty, intricate photo frames. Instead of pictures, put a black and white print, a small mirror, or even a handmade silhouette!
• Cake stands &tea trays: Use these to display little tchotkes, jewelry, or even as a perch for your picture frames.
• A vintage tea set would look adorable as a focal point on top of a dresser, breakfast table, or vanity - bonus points on the latter if you use the sugarbowl &cream pitcher to hold your jewelry! Or even make-up - imagine an array of colored eyeliner pencils and mascaras sticking out of a little teapot.
• Everyone knows a bouquet of flowers will do wonders for brightening and perfuming any room, but if you're looking for a more natural, organic feel, try a bundle of herbs like lavender or mint instead.
• If you DO want flowers, get a low, shallow bowl, fill it with water, &float some blossoms in it. Please note that flowers will die sooner in this method than a vase!
• If you'd rather get some more lifetime out of your bouquet, get a pretty glass wine bottle, remove the label, and use it as a vase for a bouquet of long-stemmed wildflowers, like Queen Anne's Lace of a branch of forsythia.
• Buy (or convince someone to give you!) a bouquet of roses. Instead of throwing them out when they start getting brown, tie the stems together with a string and hang them upside down to dry. Gravity will keep them from getting wilted, so once they're totally dry you can put them in the vessel of your choice or - as I prefer - just leave them hanging by a window or on the outside of your door.
• Leave china teacups of potpourri around - customize the blend with hand-dried roses from above.
• Fill small, decorative bowls with prettily-wrapped candy and leave it on your bedside table or the shelf of a bookcase.
• Buy an empty glass lamp from your local craft store. Fill it with shells, buttons, fake flowers, or anything else that suits your fancy.
• Use colored lightbulbs in a few lamps or sconces. I used to have amber ones in mine, and it gave my room a dreamy look like it was eternally sunset.
• Fill your room with vintage clocks of all types. Watches hanging from a nail to the wall, alarm clocks on the bureau - to make it even more Wonderland, set them all to a different time.
• If you have a dressform, dress it in that dream coordinate that you always want to wear but never have an excuse to.

totally unrelated but really gorgeous picture from weheartit.com

Lolitas are really given an amazing opportunity these days, what with the internet being as commonplace as it is. Newbies as well as seasoned veterans trying a different style can post pictures of themselves on internet communities ranging in audience and, well, severity (for lack of a better word) to get feedback and tips on how to improve their outfits. That's awesome - it's something that previous eras of fashionistas wouldn't have even dreamt of. With the simplest google search, I can see what's going on in the sartorial scene of any city in the world - Tokyo, Amsterdam, New York City.

However, with this new power we also, as always, receive great responsibility. This responsiblity we call "constructive criticism." The new global nature of all internet fashion communities, especially in the lolita scene, means that politeness is key in maintaining fair international relations - by which I mean don't be a bitch. I haven't seen many problems with this in lolita, to be honest, but let's just think of this post as preventative, okay?

How to Criticize Constructively

First, let's define: Constructive Criticism is, by my own definition, an answer to the question, "what can be done differently next time to better achieve the result you want?" Constructive criticism is well-meaning and graceful; no "YOU'RE UGLY &STUPID &GROSS" here.

Giving constructive criticism

• Start and end with the positives - this is a tip I learned way back in English class in middle school. It makes a frame of good that softens any negative blow, &generally comes off more well-mannered than ranting about the negatives of the subject (in this case, a daily outfit or coordinate) &throwing in a half-assed compliment at the end. Starting out positively will also give the subject a confidence boost &make them want to listen to what you have to say.
• Be polite - a good way to do this is with "I" statements- "I'm not a fan of the socks with that skirt," or "I think pink would go better with your complexion than blue." "You" statements sound accusatory - "You should wear pink instead of blue cause it'd look better," or "You shouldn't wear OTK socks because it makes your thighs look huuuuge!!" Of course, these are very extreme examples,but the idea is still true. "I" statements are opinions, while "you" statements are judgements, or at least that's how most people feel (or so I have read!)
• Embellishments like emoticons or exclamation points should be used to make positive statements stand out more - again, they can look accusatory or angry when paired with negative statements.

Accepting constructive criticism gracefully

• Always be greatful for the opinion, even if you disagree - if you didn't want them, you shouldn't have posted to a public forum! (Personal fashion blogs I consider a different story - something posted to your friends page via daily_lolita can be hard to ignore, but on an entirely different website that readers have to go out of their way to look at, post whatever you want. Go crazy. in b4: this is not my personal fashion blog.)
• Listen to the suggestions you receive - somethings you don't notice things that other people do. Sure, you adore your new Innocent World blouse, but maybe you don't realize that the buttons gap a bit at the bust - listen to that person telling you it might look better with a JSK than a skirt!
• Don't get offended! Except in extreme cases such as cyberbullying, usually your critics just mean the best &aren't trying to hurt your feelings, no matter how crass they may phrase it.
• In summary: Listen, smile &nod, consider their suggestions but don't try to please everyone- remember, this is your own personal fashion statement, &you should only be wearing things that make you happy. If you receive too much negetive feedback to the point where you don't want to wear what makes you happy anymore, maybe you should stop posting photos on those communities or forums - I will never tell you to stop wearing things you like! However, as I've said before, respect yourself - if you know posting pictures at a certain website will get you nothing but flack, find somewhere else to share - like I said above, a personal fashion blog is great for this purpose. I started one a while ago for my non-lolita fashion, and even though I don't update it nearly as often as I update here, it's a nice change from articles &outfits that are so compartmentalized as they are in lolita - for anyone who's curious, it's here: trespass.urged - can't believe I never linked to that here before! I'm probably secretly ashamed of how neglected it is.

Now that I've waxed poetic on the joys of blogging and completely deviated from my original topic, I'll leave you with a summary to remind you of what i was actually supposed to be talking about: don't be offended, and don't offend. Play nice with others. Treat others as you'd like to be treated - all that jazz. Do it for karma, if you have to justify it somehow. Just do it.

So some of you may know or have caught on that I'm currently attending (real!) college. An even smaller number of people will know that I am an English major (insert ubiquitous English major joke here), &thus have to read lots &lots &lots of essays, short stories, and novels; I'm currently required to read about 250-300 pages a week, &it's just going to get worse - whew! Even the things you love get tedious after too long, &while I adore reading, I find myself slumping through my homework, leaving hundreds of pages unread until mere hours before class. What do I do to keep my interest? Well, as many before me have, I relate it back to something I love: lolita.

A while back, Victoria Suzanne wrote this excellent post about viewing your lolita coordinates as an art form. It talks about making up a story to inspire your outfit. Well, I'm going to expand on this - taking someone else's writing as inspiration for your outfits.

I'll provide two examples,fittingly by Edgar Allan Poe, one of my favorite poets.

• Romance
• Annabel Lee

If you aren't familiar with these poems, I suggest you read them from the links provided - it's not really necessary to understand the post, but they're lovely, so you should do it anyway. No, I changed my mind - it is necessary; not as a lolita or a reader of my blog/this post, just as a person. Do it. Trust me.

(Poetry will change your life!!! Can you tell I'm an English major?)

So, when you're taking inspiration from anything - books, poems, music - there are three things to take note of: mood, symbolism, and themes. I figured Poe would be a good example to illustrate these, because he uses all three heavily. For the mood, take note of the type of language the creator (which I will henceforth refer to as "he," because my example is a male writer) uses, and for poetry, note the cadence: choppiness can denote anger, while flowing, beautiful words can denote romance, etc. Symbolism is easy - what hidden undercurrents does he use? What symbolism does he use to make his point? Poe compares Annabel Lee's eyes to stars, so I played off of that a little. Symbolism is something that is alluded to or mentioned only once; anything repeated often throughout the piece is a theme. A specific animal (Romance mentions birds fairly frequently), a location (the seaside in Annabel Lee), or any other number of things would count as a theme. A mood can also be a theme - the heavy, mourning air of Annabel Lee is a good example.


Now that you've narrowed down the mood, symbolism, and themes in the piece you want to emulate, look for other things, such as allusions to color or specific clothing items. If you can find that, you're straight - otherwise &more likely you'll have to do a bit more detective work. Use your symbolism or themes for this one - I added shells &seafoam green to the outfit I used for Annabel Lee because of the repeated theme of the ocean.

Romance

For Romance, I skipped any deep, philosophical interpretations and just went with my feelings and thoughts when I read this poem. I thought of nature, the woods, springtime,  and a childhood sweetheart the older, more logical narrator is trying to forget. I tried to find other interpretations of the poem, but the internet failed me, so this is all I have to go on. I wanted an almost childish, Alice Deco-type look for the girl I got the impression of, so I went with lighter spring colors and floral themes, like a child wandering away from a picnic to go pick wildflowers. If anyone else has another interpretation I'd love to hear/see it!

Annabel Lee

Not going to lie, Annabel Lee is my favorite poem of all time, evereverever. It was the first poem I read of Edgar Allan Poe's, and it's stuck with me strongly ever since. Again I wanted a childish air, since he flat out states that Annabel Lee was a child when she died. Pearls, seafoam green, and the sailor top all allude to the seaside kingdom in which the lovers lived, whereas the contrasting dark colors &veil imply mourning. The necklace has a cherub in it, referencing the angels ("not half so happy in heaven"). The stars are a a reference to the celestial symbolism in the last stanza of the poem.

We all get into our slumps- no one can avoid it, no matter how much you love x, y, or z. And whether it's your homework, your wardrobe, or your literary choices, I will always believe that beauty can help pull you out of it- whether that beauty is finding sartorial inspiration from a poem, imagining what the characters in that Nella Larsen novel are wearing, or doing your make-up as described in your Ancient Egyptian history homework a la Cleopatra. But don't think of inspiration as only something to rescue you when you're not your best - taking inspiration from the things you read, hear, or see is a great way to keep you connected to your environment &can be a great way to mesh your love of __________ with your love of lolita.
(Also, I might be starting a series called the Literary Lolita, relating the things I'm learning from my English classes back to lolita. It won't be a scheduled thing - just whenever I encounter something post-worthy. What do you guys think?)

Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.
- Confucious

What is beauty? This is a question humanity has strived to answer probably since the invention of language. All those silly ancient geniuses - they didn't know what I know. For every person the definition of beauty is different - maybe beauty is making men want you, or being lovable or loved, or just being happy with yourself. What is beauty to you? Here's my opinion-

Beauty lies not in the body but in the heart &soul. This beauty we express with our bodies, but we can only do that by tapping into the beauty in our soul. A lolita spends hours getting dressed, coiffing, making-up, and then stands in front of the mirror and smiles. This happiness that is welling up from inside her - this is her soul set free and expressed in her body.

By today's standards, thinking like this probably makes me a "hippie." I have no problem with that - there are worse fates, worse labels society could have inflicted me with. Some of you will not like what I'm saying because of that - many people are made uncomfortable by talk of the soul these days. I don't understand it, but I don't have to. I don't live for them. It's for those of you who are smiling right now, who are reading and nodding and smiling in agreement - it's for you that I write (I speak, I document) for, not for those who are snickering and shaking their head in disbelief or even disgust.

Part of beauty, probably the most important part, is acceptance. Accept that your soul may not want you to look like other people's (or that maybe somedays it does - some days it may beg you to leave petticoats forlorn and comfort it in sweats or jeans or Uggs). I think that lolitas have gotten past this hurdle simply by being lolitas, by accepting that they love a sweet, frilly fashion that much of the outside world finds ridiculous.

We're used to not being accepted. We face it every day by the outside world - and occasionally in our own world, too. It is beautiful to accept that even the people you identify with may not understand or accept your beauty, whether these people are your family, your friends, or even our online lolita communities. It is beautiful to accept this with grace &dignity but to still express your beauty. However, it is important to respect yourself enough not to show this inner beauty to those who will not respect it. Sometimes it is more honorable to keep your beauty inside to protect it and yourself.

Beauty offends. Lolitas know this well. Offense is dangerous. While it is important that your body reflects your soul, protecting your mind &body are most important. An illustration of all these points would be the girl who posts to daily_lolita in a less than perfect outfit. She is trying to show the beauty in her soul, and she is calling that beauty lolita. It may not fit the rules we all follow, and many of us will tell her - not necessarily rudely (I'm not going to go into THAT here), but we will give her tips on how she can mold her internal aesthetic to fit this label more. She can choose to follow these rules or not - if she chooses to alter slightly her aesthetic and be approved of by the community (in which there is no fault), she will be accepted. If she does not, she doesn't need to expose herself to the community anymore. It's as simple as that - if you want to be accepted by certain people, cater to fit their ideas. If those ideas aren't something that sit well with you for whatever reason, distance yourself from those people and continue living as you feel you should. In this case, our "ita" can either conform to the rules of lolita and continue posting without complaint, or she can continue to dress as she wants but keep it to herself &for herself &not post it anywhere.

Though it hurts my Taurus (by which I mean my internal aesthetic &also my sense of justice &what is right or wrong) to admit this, sometimes internal beauty must be stifled for the health of the mind &body - but we must ask, what is the point of a healthy body if the soul ails? Therefore I leave the final decision up to you, as it often is circumstantial. Will you honor your mind, body, or soul? Is there a way to honor all three? Or, really, is there a difference between them?

Who knows how you meet her. Maybe she commutes on the same train as you. Maybe you see her walking around your neighborhood, or she's a customer at your workplace. Maybe she sits in front of you in class. No matter where you found her, your mind is captured &your heart flutters when you think about her - her curls, her bows &lace, her long bejeweled lashes all make your breath come fast.

She's unlike anything you've ever seen or experienced, and because of this you have no idea how to approach her. What if she's too shy to say something to you? Ah, this old song and dance - so familiar yet this time it feels so different! Don't worry, I know how you feel.

So you're hooked on a lolita. It's happened before and will happen again, to many guys &many girls around the world - intoxicated by the beauty of the poof. Your first task in pursuing her is definition. First, I'm going to start: the girl I'm talking about in this article has strong lifestyle leanings. Lolita isn't just a weekend hobby for her; it forms a large part of her aesthetic &maybe even morals or ideals. The "you" is the pursuer. Male or female is unimportant, however I will be making the assumption that "you" are male - sorry ladies. I will also assume that "you" know only a very little bit about lolita, but are willing to learn &plan on doing your research. Now, your turn. You need to figure out what it is you like about her. If it's just that you like how she dresses, a little warning bell should go off: if you just like her because she stands out, or if you're sexually attracted to the style, I'm worried. You should be approaching her as a person, not just a lolita. However, appreciating the childlike innocence of her clothing or the creativity she puts into her appearance is not a bad starting point, because you can tell a lot about a person from her appearance. However, your first step in all of this is remembering that your beloved lolita is, first and foremost, a person, &you can't know everything about someone just from the clothing he or she decides to wear.

So, you've examined your feelings &determined that they aren't just flights of sexual fancy or anything otherwise detrimental to the object of your affections. Great! Now you can start wooing her. Like I said above, a lolita is a regular girl too, so anything that will work with other girls probably will work on her too - take her to the movies, or coffee, or out for drinks if you're of age. Not every girl will go for this, however; if you really want to let your lifestyle lolita know that you're savvy (&you better be! Do your research!), you'll need to get a bit more creative - though admittedly, as some of these require knowing what she's into or are a bit more sappy than others, not all of these would make a great first date.

Some of my personal favorite date ideas:

• Of course, tea at a teahouse. You can find some great ones as well as reviews online.
• Antiquing! You're a real catch if you'll put up with this for her. You have to know the right shops, though - obviously a high school girl won't have much use for a store specializing in furniture, etc. Somewhere specializing in clothes &trinkets is good. You'll have to do your own exploring and asking around for this.
• Have a camera? Interested in photography? You just earned major bonus points with most lolitas. Propose a photoshoot at a Gothic cathedral-style church, forest, or graveyard - you'll have to do some stealthy research to figure out which would suit her fancy most, which will earn you even more bonus points.
• Go out for ice cream in a park with a pond. Skip stones, wish on pennies, and pick a bunch of dandelions for her.
• Go ghost-hunting! Obviously this won't be everyone's cup of tea, but almost all the lolitas I know have a huge thing for ghosts, &there's definitely something romantic about traipsing through a centuries-old graveyard with a digital camera. Who knows, maybe you'll be possessed by the ghosts of a pair of star-crossed lovers! Be still my heart.
• Find an orchard or berry farm and pick your own fruit.
• Alternately, in winter, go ice skating with a picnic of soup, grilled cheese, &hot cocoa.
• Look into museums. Most lolitas have a great love of or at least interest in history, and would be pleasantly surprised if they were invited to an exhibit on Victorian fashion or the history of tea. Again, stealthy research to figure out what type of exhibit would suit her fancy.
• Take her to costume party. Wear boystyle, ouji, dandy, or even steampunk. It'd be a good way to introduce her to your friends without her feeling out of place, &if you pull off your outfit well you will have mucho brownie points, promise.

I've noticed most of these have a heavy gothic/classic leaning. If your girl is more interested in sweet (meaning she wears lots of light colors &childish-themed prints. Didn't you do that research?!), try:

• Taking her to an artisan chocolate shop...
• ...or really any candy store &buy her a pound of anything she wants. Be careful of the oncoming sugar high.
• Take a cake-decorating class together - you're going to have to be pretty secure in your masculinity for this, but you'll definitely get some bonus points.
• Go to a carnival or country fair - or, if none are available, you can go for a standard amusement park. Points for wooden rollercoasters, vintage ferris wheels, and old-fashioned carousels.
• Find a forest or open field with wildflowers in it. Go crazy picking the prettiest blooms (not too many, please!) &make her a bouquet. As if you're not emasculated enough as is, braid flowers into her hair. Okay, so maybe this would suit some of our lolita-hunting ladies better than gentlemen, but it's definitely super-squishy-romantic if you can bring yourself to do it!

As I said above, note that these are not necessarily first-date material. I recommend taking your lolita out for coffee or lunch first, get to know her (stealthy research can hereby commence - make mental note of anything she says that could be used as future-date fodder), and then suggest or imply one of the above. "Oh, you're into the paranormal? There's a cemetary that's supposed to be super haunted a few towns over, I've always wanted to go ghost-hunting there," or, "There's going to be a fair in town by the beach next week - ferris wheel, cotton candy, whole nine yards. I used to love going there when I was little, but none of my friends are into that stuff anymore &it's kind of boring to go alone..." Hopefully she'll get the hint &invite you. If not, don't be afraid to ask her yourself! Just like any girl, some lolitas are too shy to ask themselves, or don't want to seem too forward.

As a general tip: most lolitas are very detail- and appearance-oriented (obviously), so if you're a bit scruffy or ill-kempt it may not be a bad idea to clean up a bit. Not saying you have to start wearing suits &go around saying "my lady," but shaving that neckbeard or wearing a nicer shirt wouldn't be a bad idea. Not implying that all guys are gross, but if you tend to err on the side of messy you should try and put in the extra effort - if you alreadycomb your hair &deodorize often pay this section no mind :)

Okay, so we've gone over preliminaries, dates, and appearance. All the rest is up to you - what, you want me to talk to you for her too or something?! Well, I guess you're right, it can be kind of intimidating, and there are definitely some no-no's that are pretty common but decidedly vexing for lolitas or, really, followers of any alternative fashion. Asking her about her clothing is never a bad idea, however realize that most of the time lolitas are on guard when it comes to their style as they usually get a lot of flack for it. Be respectful, and avoid asking her why she's dressed "like that" or asking about her "costume" - horror of all horrors! Maybe a "I really like your dress - something special going on, or is that just your style?" or asking for details on specific pieces, but remember that too much interest can be pretty daunting or, unfortunately, in our society, may make her question your sexuality. Ask more about the detail behind the style - where did she buy her pieces? Is there a big following in your city/state/country? How did she learn about it? This will show her you're interested in the girl inside the dress, not just the dress itself, which is important - most people see only the clothes when looking at a lolita. She'll appreciate being seen as the person behind them for once.

Of course, as with any girl, take your cues from her. If she looks uncomfortable or is fiddling with her pencil or cellphone, she's not happy with the conversation - best to quit while you're ahead &maybe continue the next day or a few hours later. If she suddenly asks when the last homework assignment is due or what time the deli next door closes, you're probably making her uncomfortable - danger, Will Robinson! Avert conversation. As with the pursuit of any mate, play it by ear &play off of her reactions. Make note of her body language and reactions, and, when talking to any object of interest, let your personalty shine &get to know her. Maybe something will happen, maybe it won't - at least you'll never have to say "what if?"

Please consider:

It's a Saturday. You've just gotten out of your boring desk job filing papers and entering computer data, followed by, as always, a frustrating stop-and-go commute home filled with loud music and louder yelling at passers-by. You throw your coat and purse on the floor, remove the dirt &grime &business casual attire from yourself, and slide into the finest of dresses, striped stockings, frosted-cake-like shoes. Your hair is curled. You buy balloons. Your makeup consist of neutral-pink lips, false lashes, (rhinestones optional) and sequin balloons stuck to your cheeks. After hours of painting on eye makeup and perfecting your cats-eye liner, you and a pink-haired acrobat in Victorian undergarments spend another two hours navigating the train to Grand Central and the subway to Brooklyn. You wander with the help of strangers to your destination, making turns and deflecting commentary. You navigate through the shoddy neighborhood somewhere past ten PM, and just when you think you're really and truly lost with no help of salvation, you see it: down the block, a huge tempest of dry-ice fog pours from a glass doorway, threading through disturbingly syncopated music led mostly by what sounds like an accordion and drums. Coughing slightly, you enter - a young woman in stripes takes money from you, draws on your hands, and points you towards the bandstand of goths, lolitas, Neo-Victorians and retrofuturists. Corsets, bustle skirts, suspenders and frock coats are everywhere, and somewhere just out of sight, frolicking on the edge of your vision, is something glittery and intoxicating.

Welcome down the rabbit hole. Welcome to Dances of Vice.

Dances of Vice is, according to their website, "the art of nightlife revived." Set somewhere vaguely in the Jazz Age but accepting the chronologically misplaced from as far back as the Baroque period, each monthly party has its own theme, ranging from "Spring Awakening" to "Vintage Boudoir." This month's theme was Cursed Circus, and between the fairy lights and fire dancers, never could it have been better pulled off.

Anyone who's anyone in the Tri-State area (or, to be honest, anywhere in the US, if they're interested in the New Romantic movement) has heard of Dances of Vice, but not all of us have the pleasure of attending as often as we like. Interested in attending you first Dance of Vice? Parfait! However, do keep in mind:

• If you've never been to the location before, get directions beforehand. Google Maps has a new public transit option, and I recommend it if you're familiar with the subway station, however it confused country mouses Victoria Suzanne and I quite a bit! We ended up getting there almost entirely on the kindness of strangers, but this is NOT A GOOD IDEA unless you're at least a bit familiar with the area, because some people do like to mess with the tourists - and trust me, if you're wearing a huge frilly dress or a corset and bloomers, you're considered fresh meat.
• That being said, I've never found stereotypes to be less true than in New York City - When asking for directions I've never had anything but the most courteous of responses.
• Dress nicely but appropriately. Victoria knew she wanted to wear a corset and bloomers to the party itself, but also that it may not be the best idea to walk around Brooklyn in that getup. Wear a light jersey dress over revealing outfits, or bring a skirt (as Victoria decided on) to throw on during transit.
• Bring a bottle of water. Usually the bar has a pitcher and cups, but this time they ran out and we had to walk back to the subway dehydrated and hallucinating. Well, okay, not hallucinating.
• Bring a camera, especially one with video option. You will want to record this, trust me.
• Observe. Watch the acts Shien Lee has picked for you. Dissect people's outfits, and take pictures of the most inspiring ones. Take a good look at the vendors' tables (if there are any- vendors seem to vary depending on the theme& facilities available). Be an open door! Allow inspiration and acceptance to pass through you freely! (that's what she said?)
• Speaking of acceptance, you'll need lots of it. Between the glitter pasties, men in sequin hot pants, and vaguely homoerotic fire dancers (none of the above distastefully so, of course), this party took even me by surprise at times, and I've seen my fair share of shocking occurrences! However, everyone and everything I encountered there was incredibly beautiful, even the most shocking - open your mind, allow the shock to pass unnoticed, and just absorb all the creativity &freedom being contained in that one building.
• Mingle! This is a huge group of like-minded individuals. Strike up a conversation with anyone you find interesting, and be willing to have conversations struck up with you.
• Of course, as a disclaimer: be safe. Keep hydrated, stay with your friends, and if anyone or anything makes you uncomfortable it is totally okay to remove yourself from the situation. Remember, this is a party: you're there to have fun, not to pass out or be made uncomfortable in any way.
• Bring cash! There was a raffle there, as well as a few vendors with some really gorgeous wares.

Okay, so "anyone who's anyone" was really not the wording to use above - Dances of Vice is really an underground movement spread really only by word of mouth through the alt-fashion scenes of the Tri-State area &some other parts of the country. It's a really amazing atmosphere because of this - a sort of "The first rule of Dances of Vice is you do not talk about Dances of Vice" type thing. It's a raucous revelry of glitter, flashing lights, and scantily-clad beauties of both genders - I really don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I've never experienced anything like it. If you get the chance to attend one of these events, I can't recommend it more highly.

See Also:

• In the Big Top: Dances of Vice by Victoria Suzanne
• Dances of Vice main page
  
• Dances of Vice flickr pool
  

Starting out: long hair

I've been seeing a handful of hair questi0ns recently floating around the lolita sub-interwebz. Whether it be full posts or passing comments on outfit photos, it seems like out beloved long-haired lolis are hunting for more creative ways to twist their tresses. As I've been putting myself through a bit of a physical transformation myself, I figured I'd use this opportunity to showcase some of my favorites - a last hurrah for my long hair before I savagely chop it off.

Note that these aren't your standards - this is assuming you've worn out the ponytail, pigtails, two braids, etc &are looking for more interesting looks to make their own.

First: the Sidebraid

Very simple! Pull all of your hair to one side of your head, &braid. Adorn with flowers or a multitude of bows. Tada! Note that this will be harder if you have any type of layering in your hair, especially in the front, but I like it with the stray pieces personally!

Second: the crown braid

To do this style, you can either french braid your hair across the crown of your head or, if you're like me, you can employ the cheater method & start with a sidebraid (above), pull it across the crown of your head, &affix with bobby pins, concentrating on the end. I've decorated mine with twist-in stars here, but you could also use flowers (a rose corsage, or even a crown of flowers fixed behind or in front of the braid) or a clip-in bow over the end where the bobby pins are.

Third: Loop braids

Clearly I have a thing for braids. This is the last braided style, promise. This is pretty classic &rather well known, but I decided to include it anyway. For this style, make two low, braided pig tails. Loop up &affix the ends with a hair tie or pins. Tada! I think it would be really pretty with ribbons wrapped loosely around the braids, or flowers stuck into them, but decorating the tops with bows (as seen) or a rose corsage can also be very beautiful.

Fourth: Side bun

The side bun is one of my absolute favorites - buns in general I have a lot of fun with (stop it, I know what you're thinking!) This is a simple chignon, but instead of in the back-center of the head, it's jauntily on the side. It's simple - pull your hair tightly against your scalp into a ponytail where you want the bun, then twist the hair loosely. Twist the twist of hair around the base of the ponytail &use a hair tie to fix it in place. I like this style a lot, as well a side ponytail and the above-mentioned sidebraid because it adds interesting geometry & messes with the symmetry one usually sees in lolita coordinates.

Fifth, sloppy buns

Fifth, another very simple but super-cute look is two sloppy buns. No longer for working out &track suits, the sloppy bun adds a bit of frivolity &childishness to a coordinate when doubled &worn low near the ears - wow, do I sound like a retro infomercial, or what (Ooh, swish!)? To do this, just put your hair into two low ponytails. Pull the hair all the way through the first time, but the second time around, leave half your hair suspended in the elastics. They can then be decorated with bows or flowers or... I don't know, fake fruit? I don't know, I'm running out of ideas. Anything you'd normally put in your pigtails. Could be cute for a country look with plastic strawberries or cherries pinned above them!

Sixth, the faux bob

Sixth and finally, the faux bob. I have absolutely no idea how to do this as Victoria Suzanne did it for me, however she has instructions on her blog here.

The final style I wore on this day was a single long braid down my back, tied with a hair elastic at both the top and the bottom. Well, technically, the last style would have been the bob I had after taking scissors above the top elastic &chopping the entire braid off.

Hair, post-chopping

This photomanip brought to you by: hanakolovely brushes &Candyfuture gradients. Sorry, I got a little carried away. Hope you like it! It's started curling up already, so the ends now do a little 60's style mini-flip. Tres mignonne!

Now, not many of you know this, but I'm a fiend for ice cream - vegan, store-bought, homemade, I'm all over any kind of frozen custard. However, I only recently got into gelato. I remember having it once&being totally unimpressed, but after trying it again back home, a fire has been ignited in me &now I am a gelato-consuming furnace of CHOMP (Miss Lumpy, now with 100% more wut?). Taking this nonsense into account, it's no surprise that when I was walking down Fillmore street &spotted Tango Gelato, I was pulled almost magnetically into the store. Painted a light, soothing sage contrasted with dark wood-tones, smelling of bread &that inherent sweetness ice cream parlors usually possess, it is the perfect place for a date or a quiet afternoon with a good book - fun fact, my choice was Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream.
A trend that I love in gelato shops is serving real food as well, usually paninis or salads, and Tango does not disappoint. They have a few choices of pre-chosen paninis as well as a board of "build-your-own" options. My creation was pesto, chicken, and goat cheese on focaccia, and I can honestly say it was the best panini of my life. They also offer small individual pizzas - rectangles of, oh, seven or eight inches long by four inches wide, and though they had a few selections, the only one they had available when I went was Veggie - fine with me! But leads me to believe they get them pre-made, or they have someone come in once a week to make a bunch &then freeze them, so if that bothers you, I'd opt for a sandwich or salad. I adored the veggie, &even my very, very carnivorous friend enjoyed it immensely.
Now, as for the pièce de résistance: of course, the gelato. Stars of smoothies and sundaes, you can find the menu of flavors online (click the picture above for a link!); their offerings feature classics like vanilla, chocolate, and pistachio, but also include Green Tea, Dulce de Leche, Blackberry Cabernet, and - sigh! - Crème Brûlée, among others, and if you couldn't tell, the latter was my favorite, though I greatly enjoyed the Blackberry Cabernet as well. The other flavors I tried were amazing as well, though I admit I was disappointed in the green tea flavor, as it was much milder than I was hoping for.
As far as pricing goes, I would say this is a lower-price destination. While the gelato is a bit pricey (compared to ice cream - it's pretty average for gelato), at $3.50 for their small and $7.00 for a pint (with, of course, other options in between) and $4.25 for a slice of vegetarian pizza, going in around lunchtime and getting a panini is your best bet. Because it can be hard to watch the grill and serve the high volumes of gelato orders they get at night at the same time, they don't offer paninis for dinner time - a shame, because at $6.50 for a big sandwich with salad and a free "chico"-size gelato, it would be the best-priced dinner in town.
Lolita-specific: What's more lolita than expensive, luxurious, glorified ice cream?! Kidding, of course, but seriously, if you're looking for a good time with a friend or two in one big photo-op, you've found it. Like I said, the entire store is a soft sage green contrasted natural hardwood, as seen in the picture above, and the walls are hung with black-and-white photographs from a local photographer. The booths are plush and fit two and four, respectively, so this isn't a great place for a large group, as the handful of small tables also only fit two or three comfortably. However, if you're looking for a cute place for a friend or two, or for a quick stop if your group is jonesing for gelato.
All in all, I definitely give it 4.5/5 stars. The food is excellent, the gelato is amazing &while they don't have many flavors, those they do have are a good mix of conventional &creative - my only concern is that everything except the panini was really a bit more than I'd like to pay. The staff is also friendly&helpful, &rather tolerant of my favorite ice cream-shop hobby: sampling as many flavors as possible. If you're visiting San Francisco &have a high-class sweet tooth, you would be doing it a great disservice if you left town without stopping by Tango Gelato.
http//www.tangogelato.com
(Part of Lolita on Location: San Francisco)

(Part of the Lolitas on Location: San Francisco series)

The Queen Anne Hotel in San Francisco

As I write this, I sit on a satin-covered settee before a fireplace. My feet crunch the Persian-style Victorian rug, and a porcelain cup of tea sits next to me on a marble coffee table, complete with gold filigree engraving. Above the fireplace, I contemplate an oil painting of the lady of the house entertaining a papal figure with her violinist, all of them coiffed and adorned in the style of the Sun King‘s court. In the other room is a wooden grand piano, crystal chandelier, and a young blond man who looks up every time I cast my eyes in his direction.

The main stairway in the lobby - an elevator is also available

It’s hard to believe I’m still in the twenty-first century, but my fellow parlor attendant is chatting on the cell phone to our family back home, and the young man is wearing jeans and a hoodie. I’m in the Queen Anne Hotel in San Francisco, a period hotel on Sutter Street. Down the street from Japantown and only a few blocks from Fillmore Street with its shopping &Victorian rowhouses, the Queen Anne is in Pacific Heights, a prime location for tourists with a flair for shopping and dining, as well as an appreciation of historical architecture.
The Queen Anne herself is four floors, with both an intricate cherry staircase and a gold-and-burgundy elevator, and contains 48 guestrooms total. It opened as “Miss Mary Lake’s School for Girls” around the 1890’s, making it one of the oldest structures in Pacific Heights, and was restored in the 1980’s as the Queen Anne Hotel after passing hands a few times during the century between. The lobby/parlor is a grand space with burgundy walls & window hangings and mahogany wainscoting, crystal chandeliers and two ornate fireplaces. Afternoon tea with cookies &sherry is served every day from 4 - 6 PM, and a complementary breakfast is served in the ballroom every morning, 7 - 9 (though I should note, it‘s not really impressive - bagels, toast, fruit, cereal, juices). The entire hotel is an antiquer’s dream, as almost all the furniture is from the building’s time of origin or around there, and every landing and room has it treasures. The hotel staff is very friendly and eager to help, and are full of suggestions and local knowledge, and there is town car service every morning at 7:45, 8:45, and 9:45, to anywhere in the city.

A small portion of the lobby

This hotel is not trapped in the past, however. Breakfast is accompanied by a toaster oven for your bagels and microwave for your oatmeal. Each room is equipped with modern televisions and mini-fridges, and the bathroom is almost disappointingly 21st-centrury - personally, I was half-hoping for a pull-chain on the toilet. The hotel is also equipped with high-speed wifi - theoretically. More on that later.
The guest room itself is beautiful - high ceilings, a beautiful color pallet, and huge, comfortable beds. The closet is very large, and the bathroom isn’t really tiny, either, and it has a bathtub, something many modern hotels have nixed. I almost wish the bathroom was more old-fashioned - lovely marble, but the tiles on the floor also cover the walls and surround the bathtub, which is also sadly modern - in a perfect world, the tub would be a brass-and-porcelain claw-footed monster, though I don’t doubt that in some of the fancier suites this would be a possibility. It’s comfortable, though, and not unattractive, so clearly my standards are just unrealistic. There is also a small sitting area with two armchairs, a nice wooden table, and a lamp.
While there is little else I can say badly about this hotel, as with anything, there are some discomforts. The shower in our hotel was broken when we checked in, to the point of being unusable - however, this was fixed when it was brought to the front desk’s attention, and after we left for the day so we didn’t need to put up with the noise from the plumber. The biggest concern for me, however, is the internet - I don’t have it. For some reason I am entirely unable to connect on either of my laptops, and on those rare times I can, there’s no signal. However, if this problem affects you on your stay, there is a desktop in the lobby available to guests. Another slight annoyance is, due to the age of the hotel, a great lack of outlets, meaning I can’t charge my cell phone, camera battery, and laptop at the same time. I’m sure I'll survive somehow. Also, they don’t have a pool or air conditioning, though in San Francisco, where it doesn’t often get much over 80, neither of these are necessities, in my opinion - however, they do have fireplaces lit all night to stave off the chill of evening.

The parlor fireplace, in front of which I sit writing!

Lolita-specific: The closet is large &deep, perfect for petticoats & even your largest dresses. They come equipped with sturdy wooden hangers that won’t stretch or damage your clothes, however, they have no pants hangers, so if you have any delicate skirts you don’t want to drape over the bar on said hangers, you should probably bring your own. The internet is provided, through wifi (theoretically) and the lobby computer. There is also a nice vanity/dresser next to the door, so if you’re sharing your room with another lolita you can coif yourselves at the same time without squishing into the same mirror. There are many places for photos, as most of the floors have lovely benches, settees, and armchairs scattered around, as well as some lovely art.
In conclusion, I would give it about 3.5/5 stars, which kills me, as this hotel is a Taurean art-and-beauty Nirvana, and my inner bull is going into overdrive at the multitude of rich colors &fabrics. However, the inconveniences must be taken into account. While they aren’t bothering me much, they are exactly that - inconvenient, and they may bother someone else more than I, so they deserve to be taken into account during a review. Even still, I’m having a great stay, and I would definitely recommend this hotel to anyone spending any amount of time in San Francisco - especially a lolita.

So, it's finally here: Vacation! Whether you had to request time off weeks in advance from work, or happen to be on Spring Break (or both, as is usually my luck), finally, you have a few days to get away from the daily grind &relocate to smoother sailing. You've chosen your destination, you've selected your mode of transportation, you've taken care of lodgings. Now, all that's left is one of the most daunting for a lolita: Packing.
First off, some required reading. Seasoned lolitas may remember the post by livejournal user tsu_ on the egl community, the Lolita Travel Guide. For those who do not or need a refresher, there's the link. The article is very helpful &covers all stages of your trip, from planning to disembarking, so I'm going to address you all as an audience who already knows the points she makes. Now, I'm going to go have a cup of tea & some cookies while you read that.
Okay, all set? Good. Some of the things I'm going to say may now sound slightly repetitious, but don't worry - if it's covered in detail by the other article, I won't bother here. However, packing was mostly left out, except for a very short but informative paragraph, mostly on proper petticoat packing &a few suggestions on what types of pieces to pack.
The equation provided in the article is a wonderful starting point, however the only example given is for a week's stay, &doesn't cover accessories or other things - including non-lolita items to bring! So, let's talk about that. Say, for example, you only plan on wearing lolita for two days. Your easiest option is: one skirt, two cutsews (blouses are fine too, but much more likely to wrinkle, and we all know how those hotel irons are), however, if you want a bit more variety, I suggest: One skirt, one JSK, and one cutsew, with accessories that would go with either. This will give you two distinct looks while still not taking up too much room. The skirt could also be swapped out for a OP &the blouse dumped for a day for a totally different look - if you choose a dress instead, I'd go for one without a built-in petti, to save room.
Now, onto choosing those pieces. Obviously, you know your closet better than anyone, so you'll know best what colors or motifs to lean towards, depending on your tastes & collection. My suggestion is to go for plainer base pieces, the pieces that will be present in both outfits - plain, lace-topped white socks, white hairbow, white shoes, white blouse or cutsew - then chose an interest piece - pintuck-and-pearls jumperskirt, or coveted print skirt - to set off & add more interest to both outfits. Also, if you're unfamiliar with the climate you'll be traveling to, layering is your friend- always have a nice cardigan or bolero in your carry-on, just in case. An example:

Suitcase Loli by herlumpiness on Polyvore.com

See how the interest piece in these outfits are the skirt and the jumperskirt, respectively? The blouse gives it a more mature, classic look, while the bow & shoes enhance the inherent sweetness. The shoes are also lightweight flats, which would fit more easily into luggage than heels and would take up less of the weight requirement.

A few more random tips:

• If you have an organza pannier, now is the time to bring it. It won't get smooshed in your luggage like a regular tulle one will, and if you want to wear it on an airplane, it's easier to gather around yourself &can be piled under you and sat on if it's in the way of other passengers - really, though, it's best if you just pack it.
• Packing anything delicate? A mini-crown or a piece of jewelry you don't want crushed? Wrap it lightly in your organza pannier. I also use mine stuffed into purses to keep their shape.
• Organize your suitcase. Put all your socks in a quart-size ziplock bag, all your accessories in the inside pocket, etc. Also, if you've got quite a big of stuff, roll instead of fold.
• If you're flying, wear a pair of comfortable flats. Passing through airline security is not the time to worry about unbuckling your Tea Party shoes! Also, your feet swell at high altitudes, so you'll be more comfortable if you just slip them off during your flight &then squeeze back into them once you've landed.
• Bring at least one non-lolita outfit. Say you suddenly realize that an absolutely immaculate new nightclub opened up a block from your hotel, or you get asked out to fancy lolita-inappropriate dinner by a young heir. Trust me, if either of these things happen, or any other multitude of possibilities, you'll want a nice dress & heels. Or conversely, what if the people you're traveling with realize they want to take a bicycle tour of the historic district? Therefore you should also bring jeans &sneakers, because like I said, anything could happen.
• Take lots of snacks in your purse! Bring an empty water bottle &fill it at a water fountain after you pass through security. Try to stay away from candy & other sugary treats - bring a granola bar or some dried fruit. Not really related to packing, but good to know - caffeine dehydrates you and makes it harder for you to adjust to jet lag, as does sugar, so stay away from coffee &soda on board if you're getting off in a different time zone.
• If you're going somewhere loli-friendly - Japan, Paris, anywhere that has lolita stores - or even just anywhere with really good shopping, just bring a carry-on, and fold up a duffel bag or another medium-sized fabric suitcase to keep inside it. That way, if you buy a lot, you can just pack up the duffel and have it checked.
• In the same vein, most airlines let you bring two bags with you: a purse and a carry-on, which gets stowed in the overhead compartment. If you're going on a longer trip &don't want to check a bag, bring small backpack or larger purse than you would usually use as well as your carry-on, with your normal purse folded up inside the latter. That way, once you get checked into your hotel, you can just transfer things to your smaller, more convenient purse, but still have enough room for everything you need without paying for the checked bag.
• Getting an in-flight meal? Lucky you! However, in my experience, even if you don't have any dietary restrictions, opt for a restricted meal - vegetarian, kosher, etc. You will be served first & the food is usually healthier. Plus, who wants to eat airline meat anyway? Yuck!

Ladies &gentlemen, I write this article because I am about to embark on my first flight in almost two and a half years - gasp! My first time being on an airplane NOT headed for Tokyo in over six years! Instead, I'm headed for... Japantown, in San Francisco. Yeah, I'm still a loser.

Or, "Who are these people & why are they wearing tails?!"

As many of you know, I attended both Connecticon & Otakon this summer, for the first time in many years. I've been attending conventions since I was 12 years old, but I took two years off to deal with money, etc., so it was interesting to go back - while it was still familiar (still knew the BCC like the back of my hand, I'm proud to say!),it took me a while to get re-acclimated with the scene & remember that here it is completely normal to see people being tackled from nine yards simply for love of the character they're portraying, or a boombox &impromptu rave in the middle of the hallway, complete with men in tight pleather pants bootydancing &grinding with themselves (ohh-ohh-oh-oh). I made note of these feelings, these things that had once been accepted with mildly benign interest and now where enough to make me stop dead and stare in a mixture of curiosity&horror, &have compiled them into a list for my fellow lolis who may be finding themselves in this situation soon. First, a list for first-time congoers, lolita or not.

General Convention Conventions:

(for a vocabulary list, see below)

• Accept. You are going to find yourself in an incredibly strange atmosphere, incomparable to anything that I personally have had the joy of experiencing, &I mean that sincerely. Some of the things in this list you will find odd or concerning, but remember that the people who are doing them are just that - people, who are different from you but still worth observing & getting to know.
• Personal space does not exist. Or rather, most people at anime conventions are very physical, loving people who will hug or glomp you without warning or asking, and that's the less-threatening side side. Mostly before my lolita days, I've had skirts pulled up, been groped, kissed at random, and tackled outside of benign glomping, all on multiple occasions.
• Do know that you don't need to tolerate this. If someone is making you uncomfortable, it is perfectly normal to tell them so & remove yourself from the situation. These people don't mean you any harm; they're just trying to have fun, &many of them don't realize that con-culture is very different & overwhelming to those who are unused to it.
• Rooming: Six people in a room with two double beds is not odd. In fact, if sharing a room with people one doesn't know well (which one should really never do in the first place), one should not expect a bed. Bring blankets/a sleeping bag &expect a spot on the floor. Most likely you will not need them, but it isn't unheard of. I've been in rooms with two people in each bed (or more), three on the floor, one in the closet, &one in the bathtub& this is really not even the worst I've heard about. Be forewarned.
• The lines are long. If you're going to a large convention, pre-register, as most conventions now offer Thursday night pre-reg pick-up from 4 or 5 to 9 or 10, depending on the convention center's hours. Take advantage of this - at Otakon, this line as I observed it (I was sitting next to it the whole time having a picnic & wearing a big black bat mask - don't ask) was maybe around... upwards of 1000, I'd imagine though I'm horrible at estimates, over the course those five hours - this is much better than the 7,000+++ you'll be faced with in your pre-reg line on Friday, &that's not even taking into consideration at-con registration. Also, it's cheaper. Personally, though, as I didn't decide to attend early enough to pre-reg, I was in the registration line. My friends &I slept on the sidewalk, in line, all night, because it was better to wait in the cool Baltimore summer night than the unbearable heat of the day. I recommend this, but only if you are in a group of close friends.
• That being said, con-goers look out for each other. I can't tell you how many times I've seen crying girls comforted by people they've never met before, valuable items turned into lost & found instead of kept, &spots held in line. This is not necessarily the rule, but nor is it the exception - I've been harassed &rescued, both by people I didn't know, more times than I can count at anime conventions, so while of course there are skeevy people there, there are good ones too.
• Be one of the good ones. If someone comes up to you looking panic &talking like you're old friends, play along: they're most likely looking for a way out of an uncomfortable situation. Go along with it, so long as it doesn't endanger you. This is something I saw employed a lot by my cosplay friends, especially those in scanty outfits being pursued by obliviousmen behaving inappropriately. Be a friend &help them out. I've never had a bad experience doing so.
• Go to the Artist's Alley! The people who have booths here are some of the most interesting people at conventions, &they're more than willing to start a conversation with you about their art or the convention or usually pretty much anything. It's also great to support your local market, &there are lots of one-of-a-kind treasures waiting for you here. Some of my favorite lolita pieces are from the Artist's Alley.
• Go to the big events. The masquerade, opening/closing ceremonies, anything that's highly publicized is probably really good. If you're not into anime you may not get all the jokes, but the writers of these events usually take non-anime-watchers into account while writing their scripts.
• People-watch. Mingle. Talk to anyone who seems interesting. They almost always are, &this is how I met some of my oldest &closest friends. These past two conventions this has included two people from my state at Otakon in Baltimore, one of whom goes to my future school!; most of the New York City lolitas, a group of steampunk pirates; several future higher-ups of any convention that's anything; and a multitude of high-profile cosplayers, lolitas, &artists.
• Be nice to emplyees, both of the convention & the establishments. Convention staffers are just following the rules &trying to get other people to do the same, & this can be very difficult & mentally taxing on them, so listen, be nice, &try to help them do their jobs. Also, when dealing with employees of the various establishments you will frequent, remember that this is probably one of the most difficult weekends of the year for them. Be very polite in dealings with front desk & the concierge, &remember to tip housekeeping& bellhops, especially those who do a good job.

&now, an annotated vocabulary list:

1. glomp. To hug with enthusiasm, occassionally with a running start - if someone asks you if they can do this, use discretion with your answer, though oftentimes they won't.
2. Yaoi- a genre of anime that favors relationships, usually explicit, between two men. The counter part of this is
3. Yuri, which is the same between women. I mention this because, though signs have been outlawed in many conventions these days, it used to be common to see signs along the lines of "Will yuri for pocky!" Which leads us to
4. Pocky: a very popular snack among congoers, pocky is a Japanese treat comprised of a biscuit covered in different flavored chocolates - pretty yummy, &if someone offers it to you do give it a try (so long as, of course, the normal standards for taking candy from a stranger apply - make sure you watch them unwrap it. I'm saying, you never know)!
5. Also, add to this list any internet memes or 4chan jokes that are en vogue at the time of the convention, including but not limited to "Fuck I lost the game", "OVER 9000!!!!", "The cake is a lie" &most of Encyclopedia Dramatica.

As for lolita-specific tips, Victoria Suzanne has made a wonderful post about this at Lolita Charm that covers most of the basics. If I realize that I have anything to add to this, I'll probably just do it in comments on the post itself.

(note to the intersted: is the hiatus over? I will have to get back to you on that, honestly, as it mainly depends on whether or not I have free wireless at the hotel in San Francisco, where I will be from August 11-17th forthe BABY opening - I'll keep you posted! un til then, please keep answering the poll to the right!)