Today was struck by the most horrendous craving for cupcakes (I blame the picture in this post, Victoria!!). Normally this is no problem - when I'm home I can just go to Crumbs, which has a convenient location about fifteen minutes from my house, and all is well in the world. HOWEVER, today was different because I am still at school, in an area that has remained largely unexplored despite the fact that I've lived here for two semesters now. Not one to ignore any craving for long, I recruited my darling friend, the ever-sumptuous Kayla, and Google Maps to aid me in my search. Before long (though our journey became much longer than it should have about a mile before arriving due to rush-hour traffic) we found ourselves salivating over the displays at Truffles Bakery. Because this is she and I that we're talking about here, of course we had to get dolled up for the event - me obviously in lolita, and her in a casual rockabilly/pin-up style (Sorry doll, I don't know the terminology here!)
I wore:

• Cutsew: Angelic Pretty
• Skirt: Strawberry Cream by Mew
• Hairbow (can't see it yet again! Same one too): Angelic Pretty
• Socks: Secret Shop IW replicas
• Shoes: Bodyline

Our selections even matched our outfits, at least in theory - a raspberry-chocolate cupcake with a lemonade-iced tea for me, and red velvet and cream soda for her.


Kayla models Stewart's Cream Soda. Isn't she gorgeous?! It was also through the course of this afternoon that I convinced her to start her own blog about rockabilly and pin-up fashion and lifestyle - well, confirmed a feeling that she already had herself is a more accurate statement. I'm helping her with the coding and she's still working on content, but once it's up and running look out for it in my sidebar!

Sorry guys, not much of interest- just a comfy casual outfit. Here's what a wore for extra help with my math teacher and lunch with the ever-sumptuous Victoria Suzanne.
Rundown:

• Blouse: Anna House
• Cardigan: Offbrand
• Hairbow (can't see it :( ): Angelic Pretty
• Socks: Offbrand
• Boots: Bodyline

I was like, "Oh, I'll take this picture in front of my closet! My loli will make a cute backdrop!" and didn't realize that all you can see is my huge fluffy bathrobe, a saucepan, and my roommate's jeans. Ultra non-loli! Backdrop fail!

(Also, new layout! Not sure how I feel about it yet, but I think it works nicely for now)

Today I took Victoria Suzanne on an eating &shopping tour of my Fairfield County. We started off with smoothies from Robeks, then hit the mall for Sanrio and a bunch of other stores Vix doesn't have. After that we did lunch at a diner near my house, and went to an old library to take pictures until we digested enough to get cupcakes at Crumbs! We took the long way home so we could check out the lovely architecture, where we pooped around my house for a little while. We finished up the evening with a homemade smoothie made of a combination of freshly-juiced spinach, apple, and celery combined with banana, almond milk, and peanut butter - don't let the greens fool you, it was absolutely amazing and exactly what we needed after a day of gorging ourselves!
Rundown:

• Dress: BABY, the Stars Shine Bright
• Blouse &Parasol: Angelic pretty
• "Cincher": Forever 21 (favorite accessory EVER!)
• Socks: Metamorphose
• Boots: Bodyline

Aly contemplates The Changing Anatomy of Britain. Fascinating, truly.

And finally... the eyecandy! Well... eye-cupcakes?

Classic lolita for errands/date day in the city! My boyfriend &I went to hang out around the East Village so I could pick up G&LE. We also stopped &got bubble tea &some amazing Japanese food. Exhausting but fun day!

My hair looks so short in the little pigtails!

Rundown:

• Blouse: Innocent World
• "Cincher": Forever 21
• Skirt: Bodyline
• Socks: Secret Shop
• Shoes: Bodyline
• Hairbows: BABY
• Lace tights: offbrand

Note to self: This skirt likes more poof! More petti next time.

Just imagine – you've spent hours getting ready, perfecting your outfit and hair and make-up. You arrive at the ball, give your hair a little fluff in a window's reflection, and then, horrified, you see it. Whatever it is, you are mortified- how could you let this happen?! It was a horrible slight of judgment - how could you have forgotten _____?! Don't panic– you have your Lolita Survival Kit!

Level 1 – things to throw in the bottom of your purse before you leave:

• Bobby pins and/or hair things
• Tide-to-go pen
• Lipgloss and mascara (both are make-up secret weapons, the two things that can most refresh your look)

Level 2 – keep in a little pouch, grab it on the way out the door:

• A travel-sized bottle of perfume
• Needle and thread and a few safety pins
• Make-up remover, for smeared mascara or eye liner
• Wisp toothbrush
  
• Extra cash
• Extra batteries for your camera
• Tweezers

Level 3 – keep in the back seat of your car

• A pair of pajamas for surprise slumber parties
• Toiletries like deodorant and a toothbrush, also for surprise slumber parties
• A change of shoes in case you step in mud or your shoes are somehow inappropriate – a picnic with friends is rained out and your heels aren't appropriate for clomping through the mall instead
• Emergency weather clothes – gloves, hat, and scarf in the winter; tanktop and sandals in the summer
• Extra cash, just in case – mentioned above but it bears repeating! You never know when you'll get lost and encounter a toll bridge
• Rations – some candy, a granola bar – something not likely to spoil, just in case you go to a meet-up to find nothing you can eat. Don't pass out driving home after wards – just nibble your rations!
• A book, in case you need to wait for someone.
• A comfy cutsew dress, in case you spill something on your skirt and need to change
• A cellphone charger, to reduce the risk of being stranded communicationless

Your lolita survival kit will make any situation manageable. Never fear make-up mistakes, follicle follies, or other awful alliterations again. Build your own today!

totally unrelated but really gorgeous picture from weheartit.com

Lolitas are really given an amazing opportunity these days, what with the internet being as commonplace as it is. Newbies as well as seasoned veterans trying a different style can post pictures of themselves on internet communities ranging in audience and, well, severity (for lack of a better word) to get feedback and tips on how to improve their outfits. That's awesome - it's something that previous eras of fashionistas wouldn't have even dreamt of. With the simplest google search, I can see what's going on in the sartorial scene of any city in the world - Tokyo, Amsterdam, New York City.

However, with this new power we also, as always, receive great responsibility. This responsiblity we call "constructive criticism." The new global nature of all internet fashion communities, especially in the lolita scene, means that politeness is key in maintaining fair international relations - by which I mean don't be a bitch. I haven't seen many problems with this in lolita, to be honest, but let's just think of this post as preventative, okay?

How to Criticize Constructively

First, let's define: Constructive Criticism is, by my own definition, an answer to the question, "what can be done differently next time to better achieve the result you want?" Constructive criticism is well-meaning and graceful; no "YOU'RE UGLY &STUPID &GROSS" here.

Giving constructive criticism

• Start and end with the positives - this is a tip I learned way back in English class in middle school. It makes a frame of good that softens any negative blow, &generally comes off more well-mannered than ranting about the negatives of the subject (in this case, a daily outfit or coordinate) &throwing in a half-assed compliment at the end. Starting out positively will also give the subject a confidence boost &make them want to listen to what you have to say.
• Be polite - a good way to do this is with "I" statements- "I'm not a fan of the socks with that skirt," or "I think pink would go better with your complexion than blue." "You" statements sound accusatory - "You should wear pink instead of blue cause it'd look better," or "You shouldn't wear OTK socks because it makes your thighs look huuuuge!!" Of course, these are very extreme examples,but the idea is still true. "I" statements are opinions, while "you" statements are judgements, or at least that's how most people feel (or so I have read!)
• Embellishments like emoticons or exclamation points should be used to make positive statements stand out more - again, they can look accusatory or angry when paired with negative statements.

Accepting constructive criticism gracefully

• Always be greatful for the opinion, even if you disagree - if you didn't want them, you shouldn't have posted to a public forum! (Personal fashion blogs I consider a different story - something posted to your friends page via daily_lolita can be hard to ignore, but on an entirely different website that readers have to go out of their way to look at, post whatever you want. Go crazy. in b4: this is not my personal fashion blog.)
• Listen to the suggestions you receive - somethings you don't notice things that other people do. Sure, you adore your new Innocent World blouse, but maybe you don't realize that the buttons gap a bit at the bust - listen to that person telling you it might look better with a JSK than a skirt!
• Don't get offended! Except in extreme cases such as cyberbullying, usually your critics just mean the best &aren't trying to hurt your feelings, no matter how crass they may phrase it.
• In summary: Listen, smile &nod, consider their suggestions but don't try to please everyone- remember, this is your own personal fashion statement, &you should only be wearing things that make you happy. If you receive too much negetive feedback to the point where you don't want to wear what makes you happy anymore, maybe you should stop posting photos on those communities or forums - I will never tell you to stop wearing things you like! However, as I've said before, respect yourself - if you know posting pictures at a certain website will get you nothing but flack, find somewhere else to share - like I said above, a personal fashion blog is great for this purpose. I started one a while ago for my non-lolita fashion, and even though I don't update it nearly as often as I update here, it's a nice change from articles &outfits that are so compartmentalized as they are in lolita - for anyone who's curious, it's here: trespass.urged - can't believe I never linked to that here before! I'm probably secretly ashamed of how neglected it is.

Now that I've waxed poetic on the joys of blogging and completely deviated from my original topic, I'll leave you with a summary to remind you of what i was actually supposed to be talking about: don't be offended, and don't offend. Play nice with others. Treat others as you'd like to be treated - all that jazz. Do it for karma, if you have to justify it somehow. Just do it.

Please consider:

It's a Saturday. You've just gotten out of your boring desk job filing papers and entering computer data, followed by, as always, a frustrating stop-and-go commute home filled with loud music and louder yelling at passers-by. You throw your coat and purse on the floor, remove the dirt &grime &business casual attire from yourself, and slide into the finest of dresses, striped stockings, frosted-cake-like shoes. Your hair is curled. You buy balloons. Your makeup consist of neutral-pink lips, false lashes, (rhinestones optional) and sequin balloons stuck to your cheeks. After hours of painting on eye makeup and perfecting your cats-eye liner, you and a pink-haired acrobat in Victorian undergarments spend another two hours navigating the train to Grand Central and the subway to Brooklyn. You wander with the help of strangers to your destination, making turns and deflecting commentary. You navigate through the shoddy neighborhood somewhere past ten PM, and just when you think you're really and truly lost with no help of salvation, you see it: down the block, a huge tempest of dry-ice fog pours from a glass doorway, threading through disturbingly syncopated music led mostly by what sounds like an accordion and drums. Coughing slightly, you enter - a young woman in stripes takes money from you, draws on your hands, and points you towards the bandstand of goths, lolitas, Neo-Victorians and retrofuturists. Corsets, bustle skirts, suspenders and frock coats are everywhere, and somewhere just out of sight, frolicking on the edge of your vision, is something glittery and intoxicating.

Welcome down the rabbit hole. Welcome to Dances of Vice.

Dances of Vice is, according to their website, "the art of nightlife revived." Set somewhere vaguely in the Jazz Age but accepting the chronologically misplaced from as far back as the Baroque period, each monthly party has its own theme, ranging from "Spring Awakening" to "Vintage Boudoir." This month's theme was Cursed Circus, and between the fairy lights and fire dancers, never could it have been better pulled off.

Anyone who's anyone in the Tri-State area (or, to be honest, anywhere in the US, if they're interested in the New Romantic movement) has heard of Dances of Vice, but not all of us have the pleasure of attending as often as we like. Interested in attending you first Dance of Vice? Parfait! However, do keep in mind:

• If you've never been to the location before, get directions beforehand. Google Maps has a new public transit option, and I recommend it if you're familiar with the subway station, however it confused country mouses Victoria Suzanne and I quite a bit! We ended up getting there almost entirely on the kindness of strangers, but this is NOT A GOOD IDEA unless you're at least a bit familiar with the area, because some people do like to mess with the tourists - and trust me, if you're wearing a huge frilly dress or a corset and bloomers, you're considered fresh meat.
• That being said, I've never found stereotypes to be less true than in New York City - When asking for directions I've never had anything but the most courteous of responses.
• Dress nicely but appropriately. Victoria knew she wanted to wear a corset and bloomers to the party itself, but also that it may not be the best idea to walk around Brooklyn in that getup. Wear a light jersey dress over revealing outfits, or bring a skirt (as Victoria decided on) to throw on during transit.
• Bring a bottle of water. Usually the bar has a pitcher and cups, but this time they ran out and we had to walk back to the subway dehydrated and hallucinating. Well, okay, not hallucinating.
• Bring a camera, especially one with video option. You will want to record this, trust me.
• Observe. Watch the acts Shien Lee has picked for you. Dissect people's outfits, and take pictures of the most inspiring ones. Take a good look at the vendors' tables (if there are any- vendors seem to vary depending on the theme& facilities available). Be an open door! Allow inspiration and acceptance to pass through you freely! (that's what she said?)
• Speaking of acceptance, you'll need lots of it. Between the glitter pasties, men in sequin hot pants, and vaguely homoerotic fire dancers (none of the above distastefully so, of course), this party took even me by surprise at times, and I've seen my fair share of shocking occurrences! However, everyone and everything I encountered there was incredibly beautiful, even the most shocking - open your mind, allow the shock to pass unnoticed, and just absorb all the creativity &freedom being contained in that one building.
• Mingle! This is a huge group of like-minded individuals. Strike up a conversation with anyone you find interesting, and be willing to have conversations struck up with you.
• Of course, as a disclaimer: be safe. Keep hydrated, stay with your friends, and if anyone or anything makes you uncomfortable it is totally okay to remove yourself from the situation. Remember, this is a party: you're there to have fun, not to pass out or be made uncomfortable in any way.
• Bring cash! There was a raffle there, as well as a few vendors with some really gorgeous wares.

Okay, so "anyone who's anyone" was really not the wording to use above - Dances of Vice is really an underground movement spread really only by word of mouth through the alt-fashion scenes of the Tri-State area &some other parts of the country. It's a really amazing atmosphere because of this - a sort of "The first rule of Dances of Vice is you do not talk about Dances of Vice" type thing. It's a raucous revelry of glitter, flashing lights, and scantily-clad beauties of both genders - I really don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I've never experienced anything like it. If you get the chance to attend one of these events, I can't recommend it more highly.

See Also:

• In the Big Top: Dances of Vice by Victoria Suzanne
• Dances of Vice main page
  
• Dances of Vice flickr pool